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The SWA logo spins on the screen as the electronic first notes of War by
the Sick Puppies begin to play. With every beat of the bass drum, sparks
shoot out from the logo, collecting on the other side of the screen.
After eight measures, these have formed the Edge logo. Both begin
expanding outward, distorting as they move beyond the edges of the
frame, still spinning all the while so each logo is completely visible
at one time or another. Then, just as the singer shouts "Let's do this,"
the screen seems to explode into several pieces. These begin to fall,
morphing into shots of things that have occurred on edges past, from the
SWA's very beginning to the present. These shots continue to fall into
frame as the guitar and drums pound through the speakers. Then, as the
vocals begin, we cut to the arena where pyros are exploding, and the
edge banner is flying high. The lights shine brightly down upon the
arena, making everything, including the crowd, seem to glow slightly. We
pan over them as they wave their arms and their signs, and as they cheer
for the spectacle they know they are about to behold. At last, we pan
over to Bob Macatire, Cal Norton, and Jerry Sheppard, sitting
comfortably in the announce position.
Bob: Hello and welcome to Oakland, everyone! I'm Bob Macatire alongside
Cal Norton and Jerry Sheppard.
Jerry: Why is it that I have to be mentioned last?
Cal: It's obvious, Jerry. you're the least important.
Jerry: Oooo. Snappy comeback there, Cal. You're learning.
Cal: No, I'm just irritated.
Bob: Anyway, we've got a great show tonight. Two, count 'em, two Money
in the Bank qualifying matches, and a tag team contest as well.
Cal: Certainly a great lineup, especially where the Money in the Bank
qualifiers are concerned, and as usual, that's not all.
Bob: Nope, and you know how I like new talent. Our tag match features
some of that.
Jerry: Yeah yeah yeah. Let's get going before he has a new talent
lovefest.
Bob: I wasn't going to say anymore on the subject.
Cal: Well still, we should begin the show. Lead us in to the first
match, would you?
Bob: Absolutely. In our opening bout we are in for a treat!
Two tag teams battle it out as we see Team Swiss take on Fading
Aces.
Jerry:
What’s such a treat about it?
Two rookie teams are taking each other on.
Sounds like a filler match for me.
Cal:
Do you ever have anything positive to say?
Bob:
No, Cal. Do you not
know this by now? Frankie
and Vincent made it pretty clear they intend on isolating Kurt Mountain
in this match, leaving Senor Swiss on the sidelines.
The question is will this strategy actually work?
Jerry:
At least they actually seem to have a strategy.
Team Swiss can learn a thing or two from them!
Tim Marshal:
The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall!!
The arena goes dark, blue and green
strobes providing the lighting. Suddenly there are two large green
explosions on either side of the ramp as the music starts. The strobes
continue as the house lights slowly come back up, Frankie and Vincent
taking the stage. They both stand at the top of the ramp for a moment,
looking out over the crowd before looking at each other. They each give
a nod and start down the ramp, one man on each side, giving high fives
to the people in front.
Tim Marshal:
Making their way to the ring, from Las Vegas Nevada, weighing in
at 548 pounds, Frankie Green and Vincent King, Fading Aces!!!!
When they get to the ring, they each
climb in on different sides, bumping fists before heading to their
corner and waiting for their opponents.
Cal:
It’s great to see the SWA have a fresh batch of tag teams
competing once again. These
two teams can be potential SWA Tag Team Champions!
Jerry:
Yeah, right. These
two tag teams don’t even compare to the old tag teams of the SWA.
Cal:
Resistant to change much?
"Stahn uf" by Baschi, Bligg, Ritschi,
Seven and Stress begins to play as the lights darken and red and white
spotlights flare in chaotic patterns around. As the song starts with the
“let’s go” Kurt Mountain appears on the ramp. He looks around at the
fans and then kneels on one knee putting his head down. Senor Swiss
comes running up from behind him and jumps over him, using his partner
as leverage and lands in the middle of the ramp after a somersault. He
waits for Kurt to follow him. As they continue down the ramp they slap
some hands with the fans.
Tim Marshal: On the way to the ring,
from Switzerland, at a combined weight of four hundred and ninety
pounds! Senor Swiss and Kurt Mountain, Team Swiss!
They
reach the ring and Kurt takes position in the middle before the apron.
He turns towards Senor Swiss and holds out his hands folded
together. Senor Swiss runs up and Kurt catapults him over the ropes into
the ring with another somersault. Kurt then slides into the ring. They
each climb up a turnbuckle, well Senor Swiss just jumps up his and throw
their fists into the air, roaring “Grüezi!”. Then they climb down and go
into their corner discussing who starts the match.
The two teams meet in the middle of the ring and listen to the
referee’s orders.
Bob:
Kurt and Senor Swiss have both had much success in the squared
circle in the past, but let’s see if they can pull a win against the new
team known as Fading Aces.
Jerry:
Booooooo! This match
is boring!!!!!
Cal:
Uhm, the match hasn’t even started yet Jerry…
Kurt Mountain and Vincent enter the
ring to start off the match.
Kurt and Vincent lock up in the middle of the ring, but Vincent takes
the offense to start. He
gives Kurt a knee to the stomach, lifts him up in the air, and slams him
down full force with a standard powerslam.
Keeping Kurt on the ground, Vincent nails a series of falling
elbows to the chest.
Cal:
The offense already starting up from Fading Ace’s member Vincent!
Let’s see if he can isolate Kurt like he has promised in his
promo.
Bob:
Easier said than done.
It’s going to be a challenge to keep a guy the size of Kurt off
of his feet for a long period of time.
Kurt begins to get up on his hands and
knees, but Vincent continues the assault with a front kick to the ribs.
He grabs Kurt by the arm, drags him to the turnbuckle, and makes
the tag to Frankie.
Jerry:
Already by looking at this match I am giving the upper hand to
Frankie and Vincent. The
quick tag is what’s going to get them a win.
Bob:
Wow, so is the match not boring you anymore??
Jerry:
Oh, I am sorry. Were
you saying something Bob?
Frankie walks into the ring,
continuing where Vincent left off.
Frankie keeps Kurt on the ground with a standard shoulder lock.
This doesn’t keep Kurt down for long, as he begins to get onto
his feet. Frankie continues
the offense with a series of jabs and crosses, knocking Kurt back a few
feet. He finishes off the
combination with a spinning back fist, sending Kurt back onto the mat. Jerry: Wow, this is seriously pathetic. Is Kurt even going to get a move on Vincent or Frankie?
Cal:
I am not so sure about that, Jerry.
After that vicious combination of strikes I don’t know how
anybody’s going to get up from that one.
Bob:
Frankie is known as the brawler of this tag team, and he surely
is doing a good job exemplifying it!!
Frankie goes for a cover.
One!
Two!!
Shoulder up by Kurt Mountain!
Jerry:
He waited way too long for that cover.
What a knucklehead!!!
Wasting little time, Frankie runs over
and tags back in Vincent.
Vincent enters the ring and waits as Kurt gets back onto his feet.
Vincent runs forward and tries to go for a clothesline, but Kurt
manages to duck out of the way last second.
When Vincent turns around, he is met by a big boot from Kurt
Mountain.
Bob:
Holy crap! That
wasn’t just a big boot, that was a “mountain” of a boot right there!!!
Jerry:
Seriously, Bob? You
should just quit announcing after that comment.
Cal:
Yeah, Bob. Even I
have to agree with Jerry on this one.
That was pretty bad!
Kurt gets his wind back and slowly
walks over to tag in Senor Swiss.
Bob:
Whatever you say guys.
Fresh tag finally made!!!
This is the turnaround moment we have all been waiting for!
Can Team Swiss capitalize?
Vincent slowly gets up to his feet,
only to be met by a flying cross body.
With Vincent’s back on the mat Senor Swiss goes for a quick
cover.
One!!
Kick out right at the one count!! Jerry: Does that answer your question, Bob?? They barely even get a one count. Simply horrible!
Senor Swiss gets to his feet, as does
Vincent. Senor Swiss goes
for a roundhouse kick, but Vincent blocks and grabs the leg of Senor
Swiss. He balances with one
leg in the air, but Vincent sweeps the other foot off the ground,
sending him down to the canvas back first.
Still controlling his one leg, he slams a few stomps to Senor
Swiss’ knee.
Cal:
Great strategy by Vincent right here, focusing on the leg of
Senor Swiss. If he can hurt
it enough this match could be finished sooner than we thought!
Vincent then drags Senor Swiss to the
corner and tags in Frankie.
Vincent locks in a single leg Boston crab, while Frankie leaps onto the
turnbuckle. From there,
Frankie jumps off and nails a leg drop right in the back of his neck.
Bob:
Awesome double team work by Frankie and Vincent right there!
Senor Swiss looks like he’s about down and out right now.
Jerry:
Ok, Team Swiss should just throw in the towel right about now.
For real!
Cal:
That isn’t the attitude of Team Swiss though, Jerry.
You should know that!!
Vincent quickly runs over to Kurt to
distract him, while Frankie waits for Senor Swiss to get up.
With Senor Swiss finally to his feet, he nails a series of jabs
followed by a DDT.
Bob:
It’s got to be over!
Frankie calls that one The Classic!!
Jerry:
The Classic? You’ve
got to be kidding me. Is he
trying to copy off of Mark Ventor?!?
Frankie hooks the far leg.
One!
Two!!!
Three!!!!!!!
Frankie stands up and Vincent meets
him in the middle of the ring.
The two slap high fives and they get their hands raised by the
referee.
Tim Marshal:
Here are your winners, Fading Aces!!!!!!!
The two slide out of the ring.
Kurt meets up with the fallen Senor Swiss to check up on him.
Bob:
Looks like Team Swiss has to go back to the drawing board after
that match. Fading Aces did
outstanding tonight! Future
Tag Champs right there!
Jerry:
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Bob.
Geez just because they win a match you have to get all giddy.
Cal:
Well, let’s have Bob and Jerry bicker more during the commercial
break. Next up we have Royal
Delange versus Billy Tallant!
That match and much more next!!!
The scene opens showing a very calm
area with grass and trees.
Voice: Tired of having a tent that
tears easily?
A blue tent appears on the grass.
The wind blows and it just tears into pieces.
Voice: What you need is the Mega Tent!
The blue tent is replaced by a small
silver box.
Voice: Press the little button on the
top and the Mega Tent will open by itself.
The little silver box starts to open
and a large silver cube begins to inflate.
Voice: The Mega Tent is huge!
It finishes inflating and it is very
large and looks to be very spacious.
Voice:
Nothing can damage the Mega Tent.
Not thunder.
The Mega tent is struck by lightning
and nothing happens to it.
Voice: Not wild animals.
A large brown bear walks into the
scene and tries to tear down the tent, but it cannot do it.
The bear just walks away looking disconsolate.
Voice: Not even a falling comet can
penetrate the Mega Tent.
A comet falls and crashes onto the top
of the tent. The parts of
the comet just fall off the tent and the tent remains unharmed.
Voice: The Mega Tent!
A carpet of ants walks into the scene
and they pick up the tent and walk off with it.
Voice the Mega Tent! Ok so it’s not
perfect.
The same grass and trees are shown as
the scene fades.
As we come back from commercial to resume this action packed edition of
Edge, we see Gidget standing backstage, the Xtreme Title hanging over
his shoulder. He smirks into the camera as the fans give out a cheer,
obviously overjoyed to get a glimpse of America's favorite midget. He
adjusts the heavy belt on his shoulder, his free hand holding onto a
microphone.
Jerry: Hey! Look guys, it's Gidget!
Cal: I didn't think he was even here tonight, he hasn't been heard from
since he got the drop, quite literally on Seth Blitzer to become the new
Xtreme Champion. Bob: Well as they say Cal, turnabout is fair play. Especially in the world of the SWA Xtreme Championship!
Gidget grins as he brings the mic up to his lips, starting to speak.
Gidget: Ladies and gentlemen, yes it is I, your new Xtreme Champion,
Gidget. Yes I won this belt fair and square, the same way that Seth
managed to get his greedy little claws on it time and time again. But
Seth is ancient history now, it's the era of the midget, it's my time to
shine!
He smirks, pausing to allow the pop from the fans.
Bob: Well he certainly gets straight to the point doesn't he?
Jerry: I wish I had an Oompa Loompa?
Cal: Let's just see where he's going with this one.
Gidget clears his throat lightly.
Gidget: Now I know that most of the previous Xtreme Champions have gone
into hiding the moment they won the belt and they stayed gone until
management told them they had to defend it. Then you have others like
the Unholy Two who went around picking random fights with the
hardworking men and women that make up the staff here in the SWA, all to
rack up a couple of defenses on their record. Well I'm not hiding and
I'm not going to go out there and start attacking our announcers but I
am putting a challenge out there. That's right folks, the champion is
issuing a challenge. Now I could sit back and wait for someone to come
along who wants this belt as much as I desire to keep it but I think
I've already found someone like that on this roster. So that's why this
week? Scott Calhoun! I'm calling you out!
Jerry: Yeah! Go for it Gidget!
Bob: What?! Scott Calhoun?
Cal: Do you think he knows?
Gidget: Yes Scott, I'm giving you the chance to march on down to that
ring and gain yourself a bit of glory! I'm giving you a shot at some
gold! So what do you say punk? Do you have what it takes?
Gidget is interrupted as a staff member steps forward from the other
side of the camera, bending down to whisper into Gidget's ear. He's
obviously flustered by the news and pushes the guy away from him.
Gidget: Um alright? I guess Scott's off on some kind of extended
vacation or something. I suppose that would explain why I haven't seen
him around lately? But you know what! That doesn't matter! Because I
have someone else in mind to challenge. A certain Miss Hell?
He looks behind the camera, someone waving at him.
Bob: He can't be serious, does he pay any attention at all to what's
going on here?
Cal: Hell Cat's been out longer than Calhoun!
Gidget: What the fuck?! Is there any active person on this god damn
roster anymore?! Sensei Shredder? no, he left before he even got here?
Russell Brown? No, he's still watching from his couch at home with the
old ball and chain and little shitlin. Alright fine, how about Mark
Ventor, he's still around isn't he? Good. Ventor!
He pauses, pointing at the camera and looking furious. Finally he drops
the act and just waves his hand with a slight sigh.
Gidget: Ventor, come and get it or something? how about next week?
Whatever?
Grumbling, he turns and walks off the screen as it goes dark, shooting
back down to ringside.
Bob: And there you have it, what started as a rather large challenge
there turned into a bit of a lackluster performance, but I do believe
Mark Ventor has been given the chance to meet Gidget in the ring for the
Xtreme Championship!
Cal: That he has Bob, and we'll have to wait to see if he accepts.
Jerry: Ah the waiting game, I know it well.
Bob: Well speaking of waiting, there’ll be no more waiting for our next
match. It is time now for Billy Tallant to take on Royal Delange!
Jerry: Yeah, Billy Talent. Guy who thinks he knows everything.
Cal: Right, and of course that doesn’t remind us of anyone.
Jerry: It had better not. Tim, take it away.
Tim Marshal: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The lights dim, except for a blue spotlight which points to the entrance
until Royal appears. The spotlight shuts off, to be replaced by a Blood
red one which follows Royal as he makes his way to the ring.
Tim Marshal: Introducing first, from Toulouse, France, weighing in at
232 pounds, Royal Delange!
Bob: There’s Royal, and he seemed pretty confident he could beat Billy
Tallant.
Cal: That he did. In fact, he doesn’t feel Tallant approached this the
correct way at all.
Jerry: He approached it the Billy Tallant way, which is only correct
under extreme circumstances.
Bob: I’m not even gonna ask.
Jerry: Better that you don’t.
Royal enters the ring and the blood red spotlight dims, leaving the
arena in darkness until all the lights turn on again.
The soft opening notes of a guitar start up, then slowly blend into
heavier notes as the lyrics begin. The lights go out then start strobing
on and off. First from behind the curtain is Billy's Manager/Personal
assistant, she is dressed only in her Bra and Panties and she is
obviously uncomfortable and unhappy as she makes her way down the ramp.
Finally Billy Tallant steps out, an unlit cigarette hanging from his
lips as he eyes the crowd disdainfully. He makes his way down the ramp
ignoring the boos or cheers whichever seem to be, being thrown his way.
He slides into the ring and pulls off his duster tossing it to Zoe on
the outside of the ring. She moves to put it on but he shakes his head
at her and she sighs and just stands there holding it. He looks unamused
at Delange across the ring.
Jerry: Man, I honestly don’t know whether I want to laugh at Tallant, or
smack him.
Bob: And why would you say that?
Jerry: Look at the way he treats his assistant. On one hand, I still see
it as a woman getting hers, but on the other… Well, I guess it’s a bit
much.
Cal: Awww, look at the caring Jerry.
Jerry: Now hold on. I never said anything about caring.
The bell rings, and both men move quickly toward one another across the
ring. Royal takes Tallant down with a quick leg sweep, then steps back a
little, only to deliver a jumping Senton a second later.
Bob: Woe! Look at that move! Jumping Senton from Royal, and he’s got all
the momentum in the world right now.
Cal: Tallant’s gonna have to work fast, because Royal already is.
Royal gets back up, then runs up against the ropes, looking for an elbow
drop. Tallant manages to get his knees up, though, and Royal’s ribs end
up connecting solidly with them. He rolls away, clutching at his chest
as Tallant makes his way back up to his feet.
Jerry: Well, that’s one way to work yourself out of a jam.
Bob: Indeed it is. Now Tallant just has to capitalize on the opening
he’s given himself.
Tallant moves to stomp on Royal’s ribs, but Royal rolls right out from
underneath him, popping quickly back to his feet. He runs at Tallant,
moving extremely quickly, and Tallant, still off-balance from the failed
stomp, can’t get his guard up before he is clotheslined straight to the
mat.
Bob: Oooo. Royal with a running clothesline, and that hit him hard.
Cal: I’ll say it hit him hard. He almost did a backflip.
Jerry: Well, the fact that he was almost falling over to begin with
helped with that.
Bob: Nevertheless, Royal is back in control, and I think he’s got a
plan.
Jerry: A royal plan?
Cal: Oh no. I was worried about this…
Jerry: Hey, when Delange is embarrassed, do you see a Royal Flush?
Bob: Oy… Anyway, Royal’s going up!
Royal, seeing Tallant laid out in the middle of the ring, climbs quickly
to the top rope, looks at Tallant, then at the crowd, and jumps off,
delivering a 450 splash.
Bob: He calls that move Triple 6, and from the looks of things, he hit
it perfectly.
Jerry: He should just call it 450, cause it’s…
Cal: yes, we know what it is. However, he chose to call it Triple 6, and
that’s the way it is.
Jerry: Yeah yeah.
Bob: And the cover!
1…
2…
3!
Tim Marshal: Here is your winner, Royal Delange!
Royal’s music begins to play, and he gets to his feet as the crowd
cheers.
Bob: A huge, decisive victory here for Royal Delange. His match with B
Cool showed he has the stuff, and this made it stick in everyone’s
minds. What a match.
Jerry: Wow, you really build that hype, Bob.
Cal: It’s well-deserved.
Jerry: Maybe.
Royal gives the crowd a big smile as he climbs out of the ring, heading
slowly to the back. Zoey tries to stifle a laugh as she sees Tallant
getting to his feet, an almost exaggerated expression of frustration on
his face. She succeeds before he sees her, though, and they walk to the
back together.
Bob: Maybe. Whatever. Well anyway, we’ve gotta move on. Up next, Calypso
takes on Damien Blake.
Jerry: Yee haw. I sure can’t wait for that one there, Bob.
Cal: Unfortunately, I agree with Jerry’s sarcasm.
Bob: Stay tuned, folks. Please.
We fade in on a shot of Rachel sitting at a table in a coffee shop. A
cup of unbranded coffee sits in front of her, and she's holding
something in her hand, but the camera doesn't show us that. Instead, it
focuses on her face as she smiles, and begins speaking.
Rachel: Hi, guys. Remember SWA mobile?
She suddenly vanishes, to be replaced with shots of the previous SWA
Mobile commercial starring Russell Brown. After a few seconds of those,
we cut back to Rachel.
Rachel: Neat, huh? We thought so. But ya know, it just wasn't enough.
Now, she holds up the thing in her hand. It is, in fact, an iPhone. On
the top of the screen, the words SWA Mobile flash brightly, and below
these, a menu.
Rachel: The SWA would like to introduce the brand new SWA Mobile app for
the iPhone, and iPod touch. Now, taking the SWA with you anywhere means
so much more. Check this out! She scrolls down the expansive menu, which contains items such as roster, wrestler stats, bios, merchandise, and even videos. Selecting an item labeled Update, she is treated to another window which shows the latest SWA happenings
Rachel: As soon as you start the app, you can click this little button
to see everything new going on. There are links here to articles, and
even videos of recent events.
She navigates back to the menu, and goes to the bios section.
Rachel: Want to learn more about your favorite SWA superstar? It's all
right here. Stats will update automatically, but you'll never have to
see stats you don't want to see.
With another flashy smile, she lowers the device, looking back at the
camera directly.
Rachel: No more cluttered up text message in boxes, no additional charge
for not having a texting plan. It's SWA Mobile, now bringing you more
SWA than ever before on the go. And the price? Just $5. It's a one-time
payment for a lifetime subscription. Download it now.
Her smile becomes a grin as she picks the iPhone back up, and starts
browsing the app again. An announcer takes over to wrap it up as an
apple logo appears next to Rachel.
Announcer: SWA Mobile. Now, there's an app for that.
He speaks much faster then, providing the finer details.
Announcer: Future additional features may require an additional payment.
Use of. The SWA Mobile App is limited by internet connection, or 3G
network. Some restrictions apply.
On a final shot of a grinning Rachel Drake, our scene fades.
Bob: I think Damien Blake could be in real trouble in our next match as
he's set to take on Calypso.
Jerry: I think this match is pointless since we never got to hear an
answer to Calypso's challenge. How can anyone care about a normal match
following that?
Cal: I'm agreeing with you there Bob, and ignoring you Jerry.
Bob: Well in that case, seems like a good time for Tim to kick us off
for this match.
Tim Marshal: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
For Whom The Bell Tolls by Metallica begins to play and Michelle steps
out onto the stage. She smiles and waves at the booing fans before
making her way down the ramp. After she begins her walk to the ring
Calypso steps out and follows her down to the ring.
Tim Marshal: Introducing first, from Newcastle England, weighing in at
410 pounds, Calypso!
Bob: Calypso can't be happy this week with Damien ignoring him. He was
already upset to begin at Damien for obvious reasons.
Cal: Is he ever happy?
Jerry: I bet Calypso smells terrible.
Michelle takes in the boos as if they are all for her and continues to
smile broadly. When they reach it Michelle gets into the ring and then
indicates for Calypso to do the same. Calypso then steps over the top
rope and walks to a corner as Michelle hops out of the ring.
The beat of the "Mr. Vain" begins and Damien appears standing at the
height of the ramp, throwing his arms wide as the pyros erupt, then he
flexes, going through a number of poses to show off his form. Once the
pyros finish he begins to walk his way down to the ring, some boos, but
a number of women do cheer and some people reach out to him as he walks
down to the ring.
Tim Marshal: Introducing his opponent, from Boston, Massachusetts,
weighing in at 255 pounds, Damien Blake!
Cal: Wow, Damien actually decided to grace us with his presence.
Bob: He must have decided his workout routine was more important than
promoting his match this week.
Jerry: Word is that Damien spent a lot of time this week working out his
wrist muscles with a bottle of hand lotion, and a Victoria's Secret
catalog he stole from his mom.
He climbs up the steps, stopping again to pose, flexing, but looking
over himself rather than actually posing for the crowd. Once he does
climb up on the apron, and step in between the top and middle ropes he
proceeds to place both hands in pointing at himself in a 'look at this'
motion. Before the bell can ring, a voice interrupts the proceeding. A
very familiar, condescending female one to be exact as Ally Daniels
walks out onto the stage with a mic in hand.
Ally: Hold on, don't start the match yet.
The crowd isn't quite sure how to react at the moment, unsure of what
she's going to say.
Ally; Calypso, you wanted to make this an Extreme Rules match? Well,
since Damien didn't give you an answer saying no ... or say anything at
all this week, I'll take that as him saying he has no problem with it.
So your request is granted, ring the bell.
The crowd cheers as she walks off, not necessarily at the fact Calypso
got his way. Rather at the prospect of seeing some bloodshed.
Jerry; Ha! I take back whatever bad things I've said about her!
Cal: No you don't, you're just excited that you think you're going to
see some blood.
Jerry: Quiet Bob, you're ruining my moment.
Jerry: Like there's really a difference.
The bell rings, and an enraged Calypso immediately flattens Damien with
a big boot. Grabbing him by the neck with both hands he tosses the
narcissist over the ropes crashing down several feet to the floor on the
outside, seemingly without any effort. Calypso lumbers over the ropes
onto the apron and drops to the floor himself, continuing to stalk his
prey. As Damien slowly drags himself up, the giant grabs him by the back
of the head and sends him hard face first into the ring post busting him
open.
Cal: Calypso really taking it to Damien early here.
Jerry: BLOOOOOODDDD!!!!
Bob: Calm down Jerry.
As Damien stares in disbelief, seeing the blood dripping from his
handsome features he's met with a hard uppercut staggering him further.
Calypso then whips him hard into the ring steps, crashing spine first
into them with so much velocity that they're knocked over. As he surveys
the damage, Calypso grabs the top half of the steel steps and slides
them into the ring before he rolls Damien back in as well. Following him
in as Michelle looks on in approval, Calypso lifts the steps up and
measures his opponent. As a dazed Damien stumbles up, he's smashed right
in the face with the steps before Calypso drops them to the ground.
Cocking his masked head at his adversary, it's clear he's not done
punishing him yet though. He delivers a stomp to the face before lifting
the dead weight of Damien over his shoulder before bringing him into
tombstone position. As Calypso drops down to deliver the move, the top
of Damien's skull is driven into the steps. Turning his unconscious
opponent over, Calypso makes the pin with one foot.
One ...
Two ...
Three!!!
The bell rings as "For Whom The Bell Tolls" hits again.
Tim Marshal: Here is your winner, Calypso!
Bob: Okay, he pretty much killed him dead there.
Cal: And he didn't even need to Broken Cross to do so.
Jerry: Wow imagine that, brilliant insight. He didn't need to slam
someone's back into his knee to get the win after he'd already messed
their face up and dropped their head onto steel steps.
Michelle climbs into the ring, and demands the referee raises her hand
as Calypso looks down at a motionless Blake. His demeanor giving the
impression that he's clearly disgusted behind that mask, despite us not
being able to see his face. As Michelle continues to gloat as if she
accomplished that all by herself, she gets the attention of Calypso and
the two of them leave the ring as EMTs check on Damien.
Bob: Well, back to the drawing board for Damien Blake. Hopefully he'll
learn here not to fuel his opponents by ignoring them like that.
Jerry: When has he ever learned from anything?
Cal sighs before begrudgingly agreeing.
Bob: Right, anyways it's time for a commercial break. Stay tuned,
because we've got Arik Taylor and Behemoth in our first Money In The
Bank Qualifier of the night coming up next!
We open with a shot of normal, everyday city traffic. Cars drive by our
view, honking at one another. All this is backed by the sort of poppy
piano-laden music you often hear in car commercials. And that's just
what this is.
Bob: Welcome back to the show, folks.
Jerry: Now it’s time for two dudes named Eric to fight each other! How
crazy is that?
Cal: Well actually, one of them spells it differently.
Jerry: Technicalities, Cal. Their names are still Eric.
Bob: I guess. Let’s just go over to Tim, and hope this contest proves to
be more than a couple of the matches we’ve seen here tonight. Tim?
Tim Marshal: The following match is a qualifier for Money in the Bank
and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Las Vegas,
Nevada, Arik Taylor!
A wanted poster appears on the screen as "I’m Not Jesus" hits the pa and
Arik Taylor makes his way through the curtain. Taylor keeps his hood on
as to not look at those who boo him. He slides under the bottom rope,
climbing to the second turnbuckle. Arik flips the hood back revealing
his sinister grin.
Bob: Arik Taylor, we all remember how he took Simon Kayne out of the
picture not too long ago and now it looks like he might try and do the
same with Behemoth here tonight.
Cal: I don’t know Bob, Behemoth is…
Jerry: A freak!
Cal: I was going to say that he’s a tough fighter.
Jerry: Well he is a freak.
Tim Marshal: And the opponent, standing seven foot five and weighing in
at five hundred and thirty pounds, Behemoth!
The arena lights dim to almost nothing. On the Skytron, we see what
appears to be modern-day war footage of some sort. Two armies advance on
one another, weapons at the ready. Air raid sirens play in the
background, and the sounds of battle, explosions, planes flying
overhead, and other small skirmishes, can be heard from far off. We see
a figure on the horizon, coming ever closer as he strides through the
ranks of soldiers on one side. Finally this figure reaches the front
line, and steps ahead of it. It is, of course, the massive figure of
Behemoth, decked out in full body armor.. With one gesture, Behemoth
orders his men to halt. The anticipation, the built-up tension on the
air, causes the other army to do the same. He looks across at the other
army, his cool, and slightly cruel smile beginning to form slowly on his
face. Then, Behemoth raises his head to the sky, and issues a warcry so
mighty, it vibrates the very air. His army echoes his bellow, and the
charge begins. At the same time, Behemoth, in the flesh, charges through
the curtain, Natasha running alongside him as the drums, guitar, and
bass of Disturbed's Indestructible begin to play. Behemoth's army meets
the opposition, Behemoth still at the forefront, and the slaughter
begins. Though some fall from the army lead by Behemoth, it is most
certainly a one-sided battle. Behemoth is weaponless of course, for
everyone knows that he is a weapon himself. He delivers punches so
powerful that his opponents' heads snap back, their necks breaking. He
delivers blows so accurate, that the noses of other opponents are jammed
upward, directly into their brains. He is shot again and again, but he
never goes down. The battle continues on screen as Natasha and Behemoth
reach the ring. Behemoth steps over the ropes like a Juggernaut, having
lost almost no momentum from the run, and Natasha rolls under the bottom
rope. Behemoth turns briskly to the crowd, and bellows his mighty cry
once again, to their cheering. Then, he faces Natasha, gives her a
smile, and lifts her daintily out onto the apron, from where she smiles
back at him. He takes his corner and looks at his opponent.
Cal: And here he is, the man looking to punish Arik Taylor for his
actions.
Bob: Behemoth is not the kind of man you want in the opposite corner,
especially when he’s on a rampage.
Jerry: Freak…
As soon as the bell rings, Arik jumps on the offensive, taking a running
start and jumping up at Behemoth, feet extended with a dropkick. The
force throws Behemoth off balance a bit and he stumbles backwards as
Arik springs back up off of the mat, quickly running to the ropes. Using
the ropes to spring him forward, Arik connects with a clothesline as
Behemoth is near the ropes. Arik puts his full weight into it, just
barely able to use the momentum to knock Behemoth back and over the top
rope, knocking him down to the outside.
Bob: Huge impact by Arik and Behemoth is knocked to the outside!
Cal: Arik is not taking any chances here in this match and he’s smart to
get things off in his favor.
Jerry: It wont last, Behemoth is going to crush him.
Behemoth recovers quickly on the outside, pulling himself back up and
climbing into the ring. Arik steps back to the other side of the ring,
watching him carefully. Behemoth smirks, nodding his head as if to say
good job before waving a hand to tell Arik to bring on another attack.
Arik considers him carefully, slowly circling on the other side of the
ring. Seeing that an attack isn’t coming anytime soon he shrugs and
makes it easier, turning his back on Arik.
Cal: Behemoth offering Arik a free shot here.
Bob: He’s got to be careful here.
Arik takes his chance, charging at Behemoth again, looking for another
clothesline but Behemoth is ready, cocking his elbow back, he catches
Arik right in the face with it, knocking him right down to the mat.
Laughing, Behemoth turns back around, looking down at Arik for a moment
before bending down and hauling him back up to his feet. Arik seems like
a rag doll as Behemoth holds onto his arm, pulling him back and forth as
he rams his shoulder into his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Jerry: Told ya!
Bob: Ouch, should have seen that one coming.
After five good hits, Behemoth tosses him easily into the far corner.
Arik slumps against it, trying to catch his breath. Behemoth turns and
starts a bit of a running start towards him, looking to crush him in the
corner but Arik manages to use the ropes to jump up, catching the
charging Behemoth with both boots to the face. It stops him in his
tracks, holding his face as he stumbles backwards.
Cal: Nice counter by Arik but can he take advantage?
Bob: He’s going to have to if he wants to survive.
Arik doesn’t waste time, looking to capitalize as he quickly jumps up to
the top rope. He stalks Behemoth up there for a few seconds before
launching off. He goes for a cross body drop, Behemoth catching him with
the impact. He stumbles back a bit but catches his footing. He smirks as
he adjusts Arik in his arms but Arik isn’t going down without a fight.
He squirms and tries to break out of Behemoth’s grip, slamming his elbow
into the side of Behemoth’s head a few times. Finally Behemoth can’t
seem to hold on and releases Arik who quickly rolls away to get his
footing back.
Bob: Arik’s in a bad situation now!
Cal: He’s got himself free for now.
Jerry: For now in deed. Behemoth shakes his head, collecting himself before turning back to Arik with a bit a growl. Arik meets him right back, taking a swing at him but Behemoth reaches out, wrapping one big hand around Arik’s throat. Arik struggles against him but it’s no use as Behemoth lifts him right up off of his feet. Looking to put an end to it, Behemoth raises Arik up before slamming him down hard to the mat with a sickening crash, the entire ring shaking violently from the impact.
Jerry: He’s dead!
Bob: It sure looks like it!
Behemoth looks down at him for a moment before starting to drop down for
the cover. As Behemoth is halfway down, Arik suddenly grabs him,
knocking him over and quickly rolling him up. The ref already in
position for the count.
1...
2...
3...
Tim Marshal: Here is your winner, Arik Taylor!
Bob: Wow! Talk about an upset!
Cal: I can’t believe he survived that!
Jerry: What the hell? He was supposed to be dead!
Arik quickly rolls out of the ring, laughing and smirking as he walks
backwards up the ramp, watching the fuming Behemoth getting up in the
ring, wondering what the hell just happened.
Bob: Well Behemoth isn’t going to be happy about this, folks.
Cal: I don’t know which he’ll deal with first. Taylor, or Simon Kayne.
Jerry: It doesn’t matter. Something’s getting broken tonight. Bones, a
wall, something.
Behemoth storms off to the back, still rather angry-looking.
Bob: Well anyway, we’ve gotta take a break. Coming up, our main event,
and the second money-in-the-bank qualifier, Alex Shade versus McGoldrick.
Stay with us!
Smoke begins to filter into a dark screen as an image of a
red line appears on the screen.
Cal: Welcome back everyone and it's time for the main event and the final
qualifier for the money in the bank match.
Bob: That's right Cal.
So far Riz, Thomas Carmichael and just before the break Arik
Taylor have been able to qualify so who from McGoldrick and Alex Shade
will join them?
Jerry: It's a huge chance for either of these two men and as lucky as
McGoldrick is to find himself in this match he better take advantage of
it. Plus Alex Shade has that all important opportunity he has been
talking about for weeks now.
Bob: I suggest we head down
to ringside and Tim Marshal to get this match going.
(
Alex Shade vs. McGoldrick - Money in The Bank Qualifier
Tim Marshal: Ladies and
gentlemen welcome to the main event... This match is scheduled for one
fall and is the final money in the bank qualifier!
Alex Shade steps out on to the stage. He pauses for a moment looking at
the crowd around him. He gives a slight nod then throws a fist up. He
continues to walk down the ramp looking straight at the ring.
Tim Marshal: Introducing
first, on the way to the ring, from Halifax Nova Scotia, weighing in at
two hundred and four pounds, here is Alex Shade!
Jerry: Well Alex keeps
reminding us that he has been scratching and clawing his way to the top,
now the question is will he use that phrase if he wins this match?
Cal: He just says it as he
sees it Jerry, what's wrong with that?
Bob: Nothing at all Cal, just
remember that Jerry just likes to be picky, it's how he deals with life.
His arms are reached out slapping hands with the fans. The closer he gets
to the ring he begins to run. Slides in between the mat and the bottom
rope. He quickly rises to his feet. He jumps up the turnbuckle and looks
around again. He turns around and hops down. He places his hands on
either side of his neck and snaps his head left and right before taking
to his corner seeming to be relaxed.
On the Skytron, three words appear on the screen: “Courage, Honour,
Conquer.” “Root” by The Deftones begins to play as McGoldrick makes his
way to the ring. Sporting his martial arts attire and black belt, he
poses on the stage and pulls out a weapon, in this case it's a staff.
Tim Marshal: Introducing his
opponent, from Ireland, weighing one hundred and ninety pounds, here is
McGoldrick!
Jerry: So I was surfing on
the Skyfall site and I happened to read McGoldrick's bio, it turns out
his home town is Ireland, now maybe I am missing something but when was
Ireland a town?
Bob: As I told you Cal, Jerry
knows how to be picky.
Jerry: Well Bob answer the
question then if I am so picky.
Bob: It's just a general form
people fill in when they join the company Jerry. One of the fields is
home town.
Cal: Maybe he doesn't want us
to know exactly where from Ireland he comes from Jerry.
After demonstrating his weapon form, he slides into the ring and poses on
the top turnbuckle, getting much heat from the crowd. He then makes his
way to the center of the ring, staring down his opponent.
The match gets underway with a tie up.
McGoldrick breaks quite quickly and delivers a jab followed by a
hook and finishes off the combination with an uppercut.
This sends Alex back into the ropes.
McGoldrick charges forwards and misses the attempted right.
Alex responds quickly with an STO.
McGoldrick is quickly to his feet and then goes for a jab, back
fist and cross combination.
Alex manages to block the first two but gets caught by the third.
The blow just sends Alex back into the corner.
Bob: What an explosive start
to this match. Those quick
lethal martial arts combos from McGoldrick and the speed and impact from
Alex.
Cal: I honestly feel we could
really be in for a good match here guys.
Jerry: I will judge that in a
little while, after all the match has just begun.
McGoldrick follows him in and delivers a strong side kick to the chest of
Alex. McGoldrick steps back
as Alex slumps into the corner. McGoldrick charges forwards aiming
another kick at Alex but the latter is able to evade it just in the nick
of time and McGoldrick ends up kicking the turnbuckle.
Jerry: Ouch, I know that
Martial artists are supposed to be able to kick through blocks of wood
and such but that turnbuckle is not wood, try Alex's head McGoldrick.
Bob: Jerry that was uncalled for.
Jerry: You have to admit it
was funny.
Bob: No I don't.
Cal: Getting back to the match guys...
Alex hops up and lifts up the staggering McGoldrick before depositing him
back on the mat with a scoop slam.
Alex then goes for a pin fall attempt.
One...
Two...
Kick out!
Cal: I would only presume that was meant to be a token pin attempt.
Jerry: Of course, nobody gets beaten by a scoop slam.
Bob:If I recall correctly someone did win with a scoop slam in the STC.
Alex gets McGoldrick to his feet and whips him into the ropes.
On the rebound Alex nails him with a clothesline.
The crowd cheer as McGoldrick hits the mat after the impact of
the move from Alex. As
McGoldrick gets to his feet Alex hooks his head.
McGoldrick blocks it by delivering an elbow to the gut.
McGoldrick then nails Alex with a back kick and drops him face
first to the mat with an axe kick.
McGoldrick steps back and as Alex gets to his feet McGoldrick
catches him on the head with a scissors kick.
McGoldrick turns Alex over and goes for a pin attempt.
Bob: Alex's head has to be
ringing after that.
One...
Two...
Jerry: If he doesn't kick out
his head won't be the only thing ringing.
Kick out!
The crowd gasp with relief as Alex is able to get a shoulder up.
McGoldrick drags Alex to his feet and tosses the former punkz member to
the outside. As Alex hits
the floor the referee begins a count.
McGoldrick stands there gathering his strength as Alex sits's up
looking a little dazed.
Cal: McGoldrick shouldn't
wait too long but Alex is really looking shaken up right now so maybe
not a bad move.
Bob: It's essential to pace
yourself and if McGoldrick can time this right then he will surely take
this match.
Alex returns onto his knees and slowly gets to his feet.
On the six of the count McGoldrick climbs out of the ring and
goes after Alex. As he
reaches Alex he strikes him with a hard right cross and then follows it
up by ramming him into the apron.
McGoldrick delivers a vicious roundhouse kick to the turnbuckle,
missing it's intended target of course.
Bob: Now that's the second
time McGoldrick has kicked the turnbuckle that ankle foot area has to be
in a world of hurt.
Jerry: Maybe McGoldrick is
too dumb to know that he is hurting.
Alex rolls the hurting McGoldrick back into the ring.
Once Alex has followed him back in he brings McGoldrick to his
feet and delivers a swinging neckbreaker.
Alex gets some distance between himself and McGoldrick.
As the latter gets to his feet (favouring his leg) Alex runs up
the turnbuckle and turns as he flips forwards.
The attempted So damn fly misses though as McGoldrick spots it
and is able to evade it.
Cal: A huge chance for
McGoldrick here, he has to take it now.
Bob: I think you are right Cal otherwise who knows how long his damaged
leg will hold out.
With Alex Down on the mat McGoldrick grabs the ropes and catches his
breath. He doesn't wait too
long though and he hooks Alex's head before completing a jump spinning
DDT. McGoldrick climbs to
the top rope and leaps off quite quickly.
He misses the shooting star press though and lands awkwardly on
the mat.
Jerry: That wasn't a smart
move by McGoldrick at all.
He has a damaged leg and he is going to climb to the top rope?
Bob: I think he has decided
to throw everything into this Jerry.
You have to take a risk if you want to win a match.
Jerry: There is taking a risk
and doing something foolish and by Mcgoldrick missing it becomes a
foolish move.
Cal: If he had connected though it would have been possibly the winning
move.
Using as much grit as he can Muster though McGoldrick gets to one knee.
Alex is ready for him though and brings him back to the mat with
a shining wizard. McGoldrick
gets up but doesn't know where he is.
Alex is able to take full advantage of this and nails McGoldrick
with a Super kick. Alex
quickly covers McGoldrick as the crowd cheers.
Bob: T.O.A.D!
this match has to be over now.
One...
Two...
Three!
Tim marshal: Here is your
winner, Alex Shade!
Alex's music begins to play as a downcast McGoldrick gets up and then
climbs out of the ring.
Cal: What a match and what a
huge win for Alex.
Jerry: Of course it's a huge
win, he takes the last money in the bank spot.
Bob: He has talked about it
for a while now and he has that chance to take the money in the bank and
get any title he wants.
Jerry: He has to get past the
other three entrants first of course.
Alex celebrates his victory as the fans let him know how much they enjoy
what they have seen.
Cal: What a night of action
and it's another week in the books.
Bob: It sure is. Next week
it's Altitude and that's sure to be full of action.
That's just what you get from the SWA.
Jerry: Hopefully there will
be lots of blood too.
Bob: Blood or not it's time
for us to be heading out of here.
From Jerry Sheppard and Cal Norton this is Bob Macatire saying we
will see you all at Altitude.
The image of Alex standing on the turnbuckle soaking up the cheers is the last thing we see as the screen fades to the SWA logo and then to black. |
