The SWA logo spins on the screen as the electronic first notes of War by the Sick Puppies begin to play. With every beat of the bass drum, sparks shoot out from the logo, collecting on the other side of the screen. After eight measures, these have formed the Edge logo. Both begin expanding outward, distorting as they move beyond the edges of the frame, still spinning all the while so each logo is completely visible at one time or another. Then, just as the singer shouts "Let's do this," the screen seems to explode into several pieces. These begin to fall, morphing into shots of things that have occurred on edges past, from the SWA's very beginning to the present. These shots continue to fall into frame as the guitar and drums pound through the speakers. Then, as the vocals begin, we cut to the arena where pyros are exploding, and the edge banner is flying high. The lights shine brightly down upon the arena, making everything, including the crowd, seem to glow slightly. We pan over them as they wave their arms and their signs, and as they cheer for the spectacle they know they are about to behold. At last, we pan over to Bob Macatire, Cal Norton, and Jerry Sheppard, sitting comfortably in the announce position.

Bob: Good evening, one and all! Welcome to Friday Night Edge! I'm Bob Macatire alongside Jerry Sheppard and Cal Norton, and we are live!

Jerry: I notice you mentioned me second this time. How dare you?

Bob: What? I thought if I did that I wouldn't get any complaints.

Jerry: Pfft. I should be mentioned first.

Cal: Ah. Apparently it is true. You really are impossible to please.

Jerry: NO, I just have high standards.

Bob: Right. Moving on, we've got another interesting show for you tonight.

Cal: That's right. Another Mystery Box match, a Traditional Swiss Wrestling match, and let's not forget the...

Jerry: The tag team elimination first blood spork duel!

Bob: Yes, Jerry. That.

Jerry: Best match ever! There's gonna be soooo much blood!

Bob: Uh, I guess you never know. At any rate, let's kick things off here tonight.

Cal: Sounds good.

Bob: Well we have a real treat for you all here tonight. Our first match on the card pits Sawyer Psychotic against the reborn Peter Blizzard!

Cal: That’s right, of course we know Peter Blizzard better as the monster Calypso but he has shed his past and is finally moving forward. Even so he is still a force to be reckon with but will we see a softer side here tonight? Only time will tell.

Jerry: You know what, I am actually looking forward to this match.

Bob: Wow, that’s a first!

Jerry: I know, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want to see what the unleashed Peter Blizzard can do.

Bob: For once you are absolutely right Jerry.

Cal: Another first.

Jerry: Don’t be a douche Cal. There’s no need to be upset just because I said what you and everyone else was thinking.

Bob: Putting the petty insults aside for the moment, let’s focus on this ground breaking match.

Jerry: Alright Bob, let’s do what you want to do for now. Shoot us down to the ring and let’s get this awesomeness started! I tell ya, I have a feeling that we are going to see not only a new side of Peter but the true side of Sawyer here tonight!

( Sawyer Psychotic vs. Peter Blizzard )

There’s a brief pause, the arena buzzing with excitement though nothing seems to be happening. After a while Bob’s voice breaks the silence.

Bob: Um… wow…

Jerry: Wow?

Bob: Yes, I am just getting word that Sawyer has actually walked out.

Jerry: Where? I don’t see him, where’s his music and all that? What the hell is going on here?

Bob: No, I mean he’s walked out of the building… out of the company, he just… quit.

Cal: What? After all that and he just walks away?

Jerry: Talk about a load of bull!

Bob: Well um… I suppose that makes Peter the winner here tonight by default. You know what, let’s go to commercial and try to regroup. Uh, Swiss wrestling is up next. Maybe.

The scene opens up to people standing in a line.  They appear to be fine as they wait for their tickets for a concert.  They slowly begin to rot though. Their limbs begin to become a kinda greenish colour .  they begin to drop to their knees.  Suddenly Riz and Sherman appear holding a couple of bottles.

Sherman: What's that smell?

He turns to face Riz, who is walking beside him.

Sherman: And who are you, anyway? how did I get here?

Riz looks at Sherman for a moment and then he answers.

Riz:  Sherman that smell is all the people in front of us.  They are affected by Zombie rot.

He pauses.

Riz: The reason why you are here is that you are going to save them from their zombie rot.

Sherman suddenly adopts a heroic pose, holding the bottle high.

Sherman: Zombie Rot is horrible! I'll save them all!

 He dashes forward, trips over his own feet, and falls flat on his face, still clutching the bottle which thankfully, doesn't break.  Riz helps Sherman to his feet.

Riz:  See Sherman you and me and everyone can be cured of zombie rot with this potion.

He is about to speak when a kobold appears.  It makes it's way towards them.

*Suddenly, Sherman turns, and a massive lightning bolt flies from his hand. The lightning strikes the creature, killing it instantly. But then, its energy not quite spent, the lightning keeps going, arcing toward the zombie rot-infested people. it strikes most of those who have already died from the quickly-spreading disease, and reanimates all of them as zombies.

Sherman: I did it! I did it! I killed the Kobold!

Riz shakes his head.

Riz: Uh I don't know how to tell you this Sherman... Yes you did get the kobold but you got some people we were supposed to be curing too.

Sherman; What? What did you say? I can't hear you over all the moaning and growling. Wait... That doesn't sound good at all!

Riz looks at all of the Zombies and gulps.  He then grabs Sherman's arm. 

Riz:  Sherman I believe it's time to run.

Dragging Sherman with him Riz moves as quick as he can away from the Zombies.

Some text at the bottom of the screen appears which reads.

Cure Zombie rot potion.  Just remember to use it.

Bob: Well, next we've got a first for the SWA with a Traditional Swiss Wrestling match.

Cal: Do you think our Commissioner even knew what one was when she booked it?

Jerry: Who cares? Either way it's a stupid match.

Bob: Well, I don't know about that; let's have Tim Marshal get to introductions at any rate.

( Legion vs. Arik Taylor - Traditional Swiss Rules Wrestling )

Tim Marshal: The following is a Traditional Swiss Wrestling Match!

A wanted poster appears on the screen as "I’m Not Jesus" hits the pa and Arik Taylor makes his way through the curtain.

Tim Marshal: Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 227 pounds, “The Prodigal Son” Arik Taylor!

Bob: Arik is apparently very serious about this match, so he says.

Cal: So serious that he didn't even seem to know why Legion kept saying "we".

Jerry: Just you watch, Arik and his sinister grin will prevail this time.

Taylor keeps his hood on as to not look at those who boo him. He slides under the bottom rope, climbing to the second turnbuckle. Arik flips the hood back revealing his sinister grin.

The arena darkens, a red light flooding over everything as the theme begins. As the music starts two rows of unholy monks in robes made of black leather with red trim emerge, heading down the ramp and stopping at the ring. They march in unison, the unholy monks in the front of each line carry large upside down crosses. They stop as one and suddenly turn towards each other, their faces solid like stone. Two large pillars of fire erupt on either side of the entrance on the stage as Legion emerges.


Tim Marshal: Introducing his opponent, from the 7th Layer Of Hell, weighing in at 235 pounds, Legion!

Cal: Legion did not seem too impressed by Arik this week.

Bob: Did Arik give him any reason to be really?

Jerry: You guys stop, just leave Arik alone okay! You Mountain Dew drinking losers just don't understand his strategy heading in here. Anyways, back to Legion; I was going to check to see if his research he'd done on Swiss Wrestling was actually accurate, but then I realized I didn't care.

He wears a long leather robe like the rest of them, instead of the red trim, woven flames creep up from the bottom hem, three sixes sewn into the back. With his head held high, he walks down the ramp between his followers at his own steady pace. Reaching the ring, he climbs up onto the side and then steps over the top rope, slowly removing his leather robe and handing it to one of the monks before dismissing them with a slight nod before focusing on his opponent.

Bob: The object here is going to be to grapple your opponent down into the sawdust, so you have both their shoulders pinned to the ground.

Cal: I think you might also need to be holding their pants while you do so or something.

Sure enough, there is a large sandbox like area set up in the ring filled with sawdust. Both competitors step in, and the bell rings. Arik immediately goes for a judo throw, trying to take Legion down but to no avail. He then shoots in looking for a single leg takedown, also having no luck as Legion plants his feet and seems rather amused by the whole situation, feigning a yawn. Still, he shows great determination as he keeps a hold of that leg going for the takedown.

Bob: Arik not having much luck getting Legion down to the Sawdust early here.

Cal: No, he might want to switch to a different strategy.

Jerry: Listen, just back off okay? He may be failing right now, but look how serious he is about it!

Despite Arik’s best efforts, Legion finally just grabs Arik by the tight with one hand and using his height advantage for leverage flips Arik onto his back pushing down on his chest with his other as the bell rings.

Cal: That’s it, the match is over already?

Bob: Well, that wasn’t very competitive.

Jerry: Damn it Arik, I’m sick of you failing me!

Legion’s theme hits again, as he brushes the sawdust off of Arik’s shoulders in a condescending manner then shoots him a hearty thumbs up before his hand is raised and he exits the ring. The hyper competitive Taylor for his part, stays in the ring a while to brood over his loss before heading to the back as well, looking quite displeased.

Bob: Well we haven’t had a lot of action so far tonight, but perhaps we’ll get a more competitive one after the break as Riz and Ally take on Team Swiss in a very special bout of their own.

The scene opens up to a rather large boy with short ginger hair sat in a messy room.  There is mess all over the room.  Comic books litter the desk, empty packets of food and drinks cans are littering the entire room.  He leans back in the chair he is sitting in and it creaks under his weight.  He takes two cookies and puts one of them in his mouth whole.  He begins to speak, crumbs fall out of his mouth as he does so.

Boy: You know I love being Lazy.  I hate getting up and doing all of that  exercise stuff.  I hate having to get up and grab my next can of drink. 

More crumbs fall out as he grins widely.  He has a few missing teeth that show when he smiles.

Boy: Yes now all of my problems have been solved.

He picks up a pretty thick black cylinder. on the end of it is a silver claw.  He holds it up and waves it around a little.  His belly shakes when he does this.

Boy:  Yes this is the reach around and I love it.  You just press this little red button here and aim it.

He aims it towards a shelf and presses the button the claw makes its way towards where he aimed.  It is attached to a rubbery black arm which is now coming out of the cylinder.  It reaches the can of drink that is on the shelf but knocks over a plastic cup as it connects with the can.  The claw grips the can and the boy releases the button and the arm begins to move back towards him.  It eventually reaches him and now the claw is back on the end of the cylinder. He takes the can off the claw and opens it.  He takes a long drink from it and smiles once again.

Boy: The reach around can also go round corners and I love it.

He presses the button again and it begins to extend once again. He turns a dial and it goes round one of the corners of his bedroom and reaches the light switch.  He uses the claw to turn off the light.  He then with his free arm turns on his lamp which is situated just next to him.  As he does this though the reach around falls out of his hand and to the floor.  The boy looks sickened by this and he shakes his head hard.

Boy: Mom I need my reach around, I dropped it. 

His mum enters the room as the scene fades to black and now all we see is some text.

Never be without your reach around.

Bob: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, and it’s time for a most interesting duel indeed.

Jerry: Yeah! A tag team, elimination, first blood spork duel!

Cal: It would be you that had to announce the match officially.

Jerry: Of course! There’s going to be blood! Er, I mean, blooooood!

Bob: Well, a little perhaps. Keep in mind they’re using sporks.

Jerry: Hey! A Spork can do a lot of damage! You just don’t know!

Cal: I don’t think I want to know, honestly.

Jerry: Tim, get this awesomeness underway at once!

( Ally Daniels & Riz vs. Team Swiss - Elimination First Blood Spork Duel  )

Tim Marshal: The following is the tag team elimination first blood spork duel!

"Stahn uf" by Baschi, Bligg, Ritschi, Seven and Stress begins to play as the lights darken and red and white spotlights flare in chaotic patterns around. As the song starts with the “let’s go” Kurt Mountain appears on the ramp. He looks around at the fans and then kneels on one knee putting his head down. Senor Swiss comes running up from behind him and jumps over him, using his partner as leverage and lands in the middle of the ramp after a somersault. He waits for Kurt to follow him. As they continue down the ramp they slap some hands with the fans.

Tim Marshal: On the way to the ring, from Switzerland, at a combined weight
Of four hundred and ninety pounds! Senor Swiss and Kurt Mountain, Team Swiss!
Bob: It seemed to me like Team Swiss had to be forced to show some real passion this week.

Jerry: That’s because they don’t actually have any. When they show some, they’re only acting.

Cal: It does make you wonder, doesn’t it? Still, maybe this type of match will give them a chance to turn it around.

They reach the ring and Kurt takes position in the middle before the apron. He turns towards Senor Swiss and holds out his hands folded together. Senor Swiss runs up and Kurt catapults him over the ropes into the ring with another somersault. Kurt then slides into the ring. They both climb up a turnbuckle, well Senor Swiss just jumps up his and throw their fists into the air, roaring “Grüezi!”. Then they climb down and go into their corner discussing who starts the match.

The arena goes black before her music hits the PA and a spotlight shines on the stage as Ally makes her way out with an aura of confidence exuding from her. She flips her hair back, slowly and methodically making her way down to the ring ignoring the crowd.

Tim Marshal: And their opponents, introducing first, from Santa Fe, New Mexico, Ally Daniels!

Bob: Here comes the first member of the Ally and Riz pairing, and they were on fire this week.

Cal: Yeah, we’re always surprised when a team like them shows chemistry, but they did, and man they tore into the Swiss Team this week.

Jerry: First off, Riz has always been strange, so any pairing involving him automatically fits into the weird category. Secondly, he’s paired with Ally Daniels, a woman who proves my points on so many levels, it’s not even funny.

Climbing onto the apron she spins and leans back against the ropes facing the entrance ramp posing for a moment before she climbs into the ring and looks over at her opponents while waiting for her partner.

The loner by Garry Moore begins to play and all the lights apart from the ones above
the ring which turn purple go out. They then begin to come back on all in purple. An orange spotlight shines on the entrance way and as the
drums kick in Riz who is dressed in his black over coat steps out from behind the
Curtin. He then saunters to the ring, leaving the spotlight behind him.
Tim Marshal: And her partner, from Autumn valley, weighing one hundred and
seventy pounds, here is Riz!
Bob: I don’t know if it was the fact that Ally was all over Team Swiss, or whether he would’ve done it anyway, but Riz delbt some strong verbal blows this week.

Cal: he may’ve done it anyway. I don’t think he likes the direction Team Swiss is going in.

Jerry: I personally have difficulty determining what he really does like.

Bob: That’s just because he doesn’t like you.

Jerry: Hey, he might!

Riz makes his way down the ramp looking directly at the ring. Once he has reached
it he climbs up onto the apron and looks around at the arena. He then takes off his
coat and hands it to security as he steps through the ropes. He looks around at his surroundings once more before taking a corner, readying him-self for the match. Ally begins talking to him, and the Swiss Team continue their own discussion. It is eventually decided that Riz and Kurt Mountain will start off the match, and both of them take up their positions. The referee suddenly hands each team member, those inside and outside the ring, metal sporks.

Jerry: Oooo. They’re metal. All the better to shed some blood.

Bob: It still probably won’t be much. Remember, the eliminations will occur at the very first sign of blood.

Jerry: The very first sign that the referee sees, yeah. Sure.

Bob: I’m pretty sure..

Cal: Might as well stop, Bob. He won’t be convinced where blood is concerned.

The bell rings, and Riz and Kurt come at one another with their sporks. Kurt succeeds in bringing his down on Riz’s head pretty hard, staggering Riz back a bit, though granted it’s more out of surprise than pain. Riz comes forward again, though, swinging his spork as hard and fast as he can and hitting Kurt several times in the stomach and chest.

Bob: Kurt Mountain with the first strike, but Riz fires back with a vengeance.

Jerry: Man, he’s pretty good with that thing.

Cal: Maybe he did some serious spork training.

Riz lunges again, managing to thwack Kurt a few more times with the spork, then suddenly kicking him in the gut, and delivering a DDT with spork still in hand.

Jerry: Wait! Not that I’m complaining, but is that legal?

Bob: Well, First Blood matches by definition have no disqualification. I know it’s a Spork duel and all, but I imagine that rule still applies.

Indeed, the referee does not disqualify Riz, who gets up quickly, brandishing his spork.

Cal: He sure is taking this seriously.

Jerry: Wouldn’t you if your blood could be spilled all over the ring?

Bob: Seriously, Jerry, it won’t…

Cal: Nevermind.

Kurt gets back up, and immediately tags in Senor Swiss. Riz nods, and tags in Ally in return. Ally leaps into the ring with her spork, and almost immediately suffers a kick precisely aimed at her hand. The blow sends the spork flying, and it lands in one of the unoccupied corners with a dull clinking thud.

Bob: Oh no! Ally just got in, and it appears she’s lost her spork!

Cal: Well, it’s still there in the corner. She just has to go get… Woe!

Suddenly, with the quickness of a thief, Ally produces two more sporks from somewhere in her clothing, one in each hand. She brandishes them at Senor Swiss, who steps back looking baffled.

Bob: No way! She just… Wait, what’s he doing out here?

Without music and without warning, Sherman Witicker, accompanied by an SWA staff member as usual, makes his way down toward ringside. He’s yelling at the staffer, obviously very displeased. The staffer mostly ignores what he’s saying, though, and leads him right up to the extra announcer chair. Sherman plops down, and the staffer hands him the extra headset. Sherman doesn’t thank him, just puts it on.

Bob: Well, um, hello, Sherman.

Sherman: Did I miss anything? That stupid person made me late. Is my Ally OK?

Jerry: Oh I’d say she’s more than OK, Sherman old boy. She’s duel-wielding sporks right now.

Sherman: (yelling) YES! GO ALLY! Get ‘em, BABY!

Ally doesn’t react at all to this, though surely she can hear it. Instead, she lunges at Senor Swiss with sporks in hand, and nails him in the arm with both points. Quickly she pulls the sporks free, and the referee checks Senor Swiss’s arm. There is indeed blood. Just a few droplets running out of the tiny punctures, but it is enough. The referee signals to the timekeeper, and the bell rings once.

Tim Marshal: Ladies and gentlemen, Senor Swiss has been eliminated!

Sherman: Did my Ally do that?

Cal: She uh, yes.

Sherman: YES! Oh ALLY, oh my ALLY, I LOVE YOU!

Bob: Oy… Sherman, uh, what do you mean the person who lead you out here made you late?

Sherman: He did! I was supposed to be here the whole time, but he acted like he didn’t want to go, and I had to call the NFB, and they…

Cal: Right. OK, we get the picture.

Jerry: Ahem. Is anyone gonna mention the bloooood?

Bob: There really honestly isn’t that much.

Jerry: You lie! It flows like a river!

Sherman: I’ll bet it does! Oh my Ally is so wonderful!

Senor Swiss glumly steps from the ring, and Kurt steps in. The referee makes sure Senor Swiss heads to the back, and while he’s still doing that, Ally lunges low with the sporks. It is pretty clear what she intends to do, and what target, or targets she is going for, but Kurt doesn’t allow it. He grabs her, and flips her onto her back. Ally somehow manages to keep hold of her sporks, though, and Kurt still has his as well, clutched carefully in one hand that he now holds against his body. Moving fast, Ally rolls away from Kurt, and right into her corner, tagging Riz.

Bob: And there’s the tag.

Sherman: Wait, who tagged?

Jerry: Ugh. Ally tagged, Sherman. Senor Swiss has been eliminated, remember?

Sherman: Oh, right. Sorry, Mr. Sheppard.

Cal: Never again will we hear anyone apologize to Jerry.

Jerry: Shut up, Bob 2.

Sherman: Wait, Ally tagged out? But why? Why would she ever tag Riz in?

Bob: Um, you’d better hope Riz doesn’t hear the tape of this match.

Sherman: Why? If he doesn’t believe he’s worse than me, I’d be delighted to prove it.

Cal: Your arrogance will be your undoing, kid.

Bob: Wait, when did Riz get 3 sporks?

Jerry: I think Ally handed hers over.

Ally had indeed handed Riz her sporks, even though he still had his own. Riz now holds two in one hand, and one in the other. He moves toward Kurt, spork points extended. Kurt raises his own spork, which now looks feeble compared to Riz’s 3.

Bob: Well Sherman, like Riz or not, I think Kurt’s in trouble here.

Sherman: Why?

Cal: We already told you. Riz has 3 sporks.

Sherman: How many does Kurt have?

Jerry: 1 Sherman. Just one.

Sherman: Oh. Well then… I guess so.

Indeed, Kurt takes a swing with his spork. Riz raises the hand holding one, and blocks it easily, then plunges the other two sporks right into Kurt’s chest in the ribcage area. The metal pierces his skin, and droplets of blood immediately appear. The referee sees them, and calls for the bell.

Tim Marshal: Here are your winners, Ally Daniels and Riz!

Riz drops the sporks in the ring, and heads out of the ring to join Ally, who decides they should quickly head to the back, without bothering to celebrate.

Sherman: They did it! They did it! Oh Ally, oh my little Allykins!

Bob: It was Riz who won the match, Sherman.

Sherman: Well Ally got the first elimination, so he couldn’t have done it without her.

Cal: I guess he’s right.

Jerry: More bloooood!

Kurt begins to leave, but the referee picks up the sporks, and hands them all to him. Shrugging, he takes them, then heads away into the back.

Bob: So Sherman, uh, I guess you need help to the back.

Sherman: Well of course. Did that man leave?

Jerry: Fraid so. I’ll take him.

Cal: Oh how nice of you.

Jerry: Oh mostly It’s because I’ve really got to pee.

Bob: Should’ve figured. Alright, folks, we’re gonna take a break. Up next, we’ll see another mystery box get opened as Alex Shade takes on Dominic McManus. What’s inside this one? Do we really want to know? We’re gonna find out next.

The scene opens outside in a local park outside of New York City. The camera is viewing an older gentleman sitting on a bench, holding his cane and his bag full of bird seed. The man grabs some seed and throws it on the ground, attracting most of the pigeons around the area. Mark Ventor, who is in the background. Ventor walks up to the man and speaks..

Ventor: Listen!!

The old man doesn't respond. Ventor raises an eyebrow, speaking with a louder tone of voice.

Ventor: I said.....Listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still, the old man doesn't say anything. For the third time, Ventor tries to communicate with the elder man.

Ventor: LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The man doesn't respond.

Announcer's Voice: Need a hearing aid? Get Miracle Ear Digital Hearing Aids. Now you can listen to everyone's voice.....even Mark Ventor's!

This time, the old man is equipped with one of the hearing aids this time. Ventor demands one more time....

Ventor: What part of LISTEN don't you understand!!!!!

The old man looks over quickly at Ventor, almost like Ventor scared him a bit.

Old Man: You didn't have to yell!!

Ventor rolls his eyes as the scene fades to black....

Bob:  Well last week, we were treated on Edge with a Mystery Box on a Pole match with JR vs Sawyer Psychotic.  Now this week we get another match just like it!

Cal:  Yeah, except this time we are going to see Alex Shade take on Dominic McManus.

Jerry:  Why do you two goons sound so excited.  Don’t you remember the lame prizes last week?  What a waste of time.  You’d have to pay me to even consider taking an AJ action figure. 

Bob:  Hey, 10 dollars to Outback Steakhouse isn’t anything to snuff at!  At least I wouldn’t mind a prize like that.

Cal:  In all seriousness, it’s called Mystery Box for a reason, Jerry.  Who knows what the prize could be this week!!

( Alex Shade vs. Dominic McManus - Mystery Box On A Pole Match )

Tim Marshal:  The following contest is a Mystery Box on a Pole match!!!!

Shoots and Ladders by Korn hits the sound system, the sound of bagpipes filling the arena, quickly accompanied by drums. As the music begins to get into full swing large green, white and orange pyros set off on both sides of the stage. Dominic emerges from the back, seeming to stumble onto the stage. A bottle of ale in hand, he holds it up, giving a yell at the crowd. He moves to the edge of the stage, tossing the bottle off to the side and jumps off of the stage, landing on the floor next to the ramp.

Tim Marshal:  Making his way to the ring, from Blackrock, Ireland, weighing in at 145 pounds, Dominic McManus!!!!

He then runs down the lane, giving high fives to those in front before sliding into the ring and pulling his shirt off, tossing it into the crowd before turning his attention to his upcoming opponent.

Bob:  Two weeks ago on Altitude Dominic picked up his first win against Calypso the Deformed.  The question is will he be able to continue momentum this week?

Cal:  It’s going to be tough against an opponent like Alex Shade.  Let’s not forget his success at Altitude either.

Jerry:  If I were either of these competitors I wouldn’t care whether I’d win or lose.  Obviously SWA management is too cheap to give a legit prize in the mystery box!!

Bob:  Why are you always so negative??   

“Paralyzer” by Finger Eleven begins to play.  Alex Shade steps out on to the stage. He pauses for a moment looking at the crowd around him. He gives a slight nod then throws a fist up. He continues to walk down the ramp looking straight at the ring.

Tim Marshal:  And his opponent, from Halifax Nova Scotia, weighing in at 204 pounds, Alex Shade!!!!

His arms are reached out slapping hands with the fans. The closer he gets to the ring he begins to run. He slides in between the mat and the bottom rope. He quickly rises to his feet. He jumps up the turnbuckle and looks around again. He turns around and hops down. He places his hands on either side of his neck and snaps his head left and right before taking to his corner seeming to be relaxed.

Bob:  What a great match this is going to be.  Dominic and Alex are both known for their brawling style. 

Cal:  Yeah, and adding this stipulation is going to make it even more intriguing!

Both Dominic and Alex stare up at the Mystery Box on the pole and then turn their attention to each other.  The bell rings to start up the match.  Both begin exchanging blow after blow to the head.  Eventually Dominic uses his speed and capitalizes, sending a flurry of rights and lefts to the head of Alex.  Alex puts both hands up in a guard position, attempting to protect his head and body from the shots. 

Jerry:  Wow, you were certainly right about their brawling styles, Bob.  For once you were right!

Bob:  What do you mean for once?  I am always right so get used to it.  Anyway, Alex is very smart keeping that guard up. 

Cal:  Especially since we know about Dominic’s bare knuckle fighting background.

Alex simply keeps his guard up, and when the opportunity is right Alex grabs one of Dominic’s arms, traps it, and sends him on the mat with an armbar takedown.  Dominic falls face-first into the mat.  From there, Alex keeps him grounded with a standard armbar from the ground.

Bob:  Alex is such a veteran in the ring.  See how fluent that counter was?

Cal:  Fluent, indeed. 

Jerry:  Allright Calnaki, that’s enough from you.

Cal:  Calnaki?  What are you talking about?

Jerry:  Get it?  Funaki??  Calnaki?  Since you said indeed?!  Man, I guess my humor is just too sophisticated for you.

Alex holds the armlock in tight, but Dominic gets up a bit and does a forward roll, escaping the hold with ease.  He gets up to his feet, grabbing a hold of Alex arm and sending him down with an arm drag.  Alex gets right back up to his feet, only to receive a dropkick to the face.  Alex manages to get up once more, and Dominic continues the assault with a clothesline from hell.  He stands up and taunts the crowd, getting a mixed reaction.

Cal:  Great combo of moves right there, but the fans still don’t know how to react to this guy.

Bob:  Well let’s not forget the fans usually don’t love an SWA superstar over night.  They want to make sure Dominic is as serious a competitor as he makes himself out to be by getting a second consecutive win. 

Jerry:  And what better opponent to pick up a win against than the former Skyfall Champ Alex Shade.  Like that’s going to happen though!

Dominic then picks up Alex by the hair and lifts him back to a vertical base.  He gives Alex a quick kick to the stomach, then lifts him into a suplex position.  Before Dominic can slam him down, he loses his balance and Alex falls in back of him, still standing.  Before Dominic can turn around, he grabs him around the waist and sends him down with a back body drop.  Dominic holds his neck in pain

Bob:  Dominic McManus nearly folded in half after that move!

Alex then stands up and raises one arm in the air, getting a huge ovation.

Cal:  Huge difference in crowd reactions here tonight.  People are on their feet cheering for Alex like crazy.

Jerry:  Ok these two need to stop taunting and start wrestling.  Alex is wasting valuable time.   He could have grabbed the damn briefcase by now!

Bob: Uh, it's a mystery box, Jerry, not a briefcase.

Jerry: Oh whatever. It's always a freakin briefcase.

With Dominic still down, Alex walks over to the turnbuckle next to the pole.  Dominic gets up on his knees and hands and sees Alex reaching for the box.  Alex reaches with all his might, but before he can grab it, Dominic springs to his feet, runs over to Alex and grabs both ankles.  Dominic pulls Alex off the top turnbuckle and Alex is now sitting on Dominic’s shoulders.  From there, Dominic slams him full force to the mat with an electric chair drop, right in the middle of the ring.

Bob:  Oh my god!!!!  Electric chair drop sends Alex right onto the mat!  Now Dominic is back in control.

Jerry:  See, this is what I just said.  Alex wasted his time taunting.  Poor decision making if you ask me.

Cal:  Was anybody asking you, though??

Jerry:  Shush, Bob #2.

Surprisingly, Alex slowly begins to get up after that devastating maneuver.  Dominic continues the assault before he can get to his feet with a quick roundhouse to the chest, sending him back down.  From there, Dominic takes a deep breath and makes his way to the pole.

Bob:  Dominic trying to catch his breath, but wisely making his way to the pole for the first time in this match. 

Cal:  Well Alex may not be getting up anytime soon, so why not take advantage?

Alex recovers fast and slowly makes his way to his feet. Dominic leaps onto the top turnbuckle and reaches for the mystery box.  Wisely, he turns around and sees Alex coming towards him.  From there, Dominic leaps off of the top turnbuckle, attempting to go for a flying cross body.  Alex manages to catch Dominic in mid-air.  He lifts Dominic up high and slams him down with a huge scoop slam. 

Jerry:  Close call there by Dominic, but the veteran Alex Shade manages to catch McManus with ease.

Bob:  Man, these two superstars are really focusing on the backs of their opponents in this match.  First that powerful Electric chair drop and most recently that vicious scoop slam!

Jerry:  I’ve never heard the words vicious and scoop slam used in the same sentence…

Dominic doesn’t stay down for long and gets back up to a stance.  Alex continues the offense, sending an uppercut to the stomach of Dominic and follows up with an STO.  Alex turns Dominic so his back is exposed, and sends down a series of stomps.

Cal:  This could be the end of Dominic McManus in this match.  Alex using his heel to really add to the assault to Dom’s back. 

Alex then runs back and bounces off the ropes.  He comes back and leaps in the air with a flying knee strike, hitting Dominic in the back once again.

Jerry:  Go ahead Alex Shade!!!  Grab the Mystery Box!!!  Get that Karl Krush action figure!!

Bob:  Karl Krush?  That was soooo 2006. 

Cal:  Would both of you guys just focus already?  I’m sitting here trying to commentate for this match and both of you are talking about a jobber from four years ago.  Like, really??

With Dominic still down, Alex walks over to the pole and gets onto the top rope.  He can’t reach the box, so he begins to climb the pole.  Out of desperation, Dominic gets to his feet and runs as fast as he can to the pole.  Alex is one inch away from grabbing the box, but Dominic leaps on the top rope, grabs Alex by the neck, and slams him down with a flying neckbreaker.

Bob:  Huge neckbreaker by Dominic!!!!  This match could be all over here!!!

Dominic quickly gets up and grabs Alex by the back of the head.  With as much power as possible, Dominic throws Alex full force into the metal pole next to him.  He hits with so much impact that Alex collapses right away.  Blood begins to pour from his head and Dominic makes his way to the top of the pole.  He climbs up and reaches as far as he can, eventually reaching the box.  The bell rings to end the match.

Tim Marshal:  Here is your winner, Dominic McManus!!!

Dominic drops the box on the mat and begins to regain his composure.  The referee checks up on Alex to see if he is responding at all.

Bob:  Dominic does it!!  He wins again!!!  His second SWA win!!!!

Jerry:  So maybe his first win wasn’t beginner’s luck. 

Cal:  Good thing the ref is checking on Alex Shade.  He’s definitely not looking in good shape after getting his face slammed into that steel pole. 

Jerry:  Who cares about that, Cal.  The only thing I care about is what’s inside that damn box!!!

Bob:  You’re such a hypocrite.  You just said earlier that whatever was in the box wasn’t going to be a legit prize. 

Dominic McManus opens the box and reveals the contract inside.  He reads it over a bit and gets a huge grin on his face.  He raises the contract high in the air and makes his way to the outside of the ring. 

Bob:  Folks, we have just got word that the box contains a contract for Dominic to be the special guest referee in a match between Stephanie Frost and Gidget the Midget!! 

Cal:  That match was going to be interesting regardless, but now with Dominic thrown in the mix who knows what’s going to happen!

Jerry:  A contract to become a special guest referee??  He doesn’t even get a title match.  They need to stop these Mystery Box matches, for real.  The only mystery I can think of is why in the hell do the prizes suck so bad?!?!?

Bob:  Geez, Jerry.  Tell us how you really feel why don’t you.  Well, next up don’t miss our main event of the evening. 

Cal:  Brandon Cole takes on Royal Delange!  2 out of 3 falls!  That match is next!!!

Smoke begins to filter into a dark screen as an image of a red line appears on the screen.

"There are no lines to cross."

The red line suddenly disappears as a giant WE shows up where the line was.

"This isn't wrestling entertainment."

The letters begin to fade away but stop and crack apart and fall out of view.

"This is on the Edge!"

The EDGE Logo flashes onto the screen and begins to move to the top.

"This is nothing but Aggression!"

The aggression logo falls into the picture and smashes into the bottom of the screen with force, slightly breaking apart the letters.

"You are In the Squared Circle!"

An image of ITSC host Brandon Cole flashes onto the screen as he talks into a mic in his studio.  The image begins to slightly fade to where the other two words shine through it. 

"This is the SWA!"

The SWA letters break through the rest of the screen and smoke as they shine bright and everything else fades out.

"THIS IS WRESTLING!"

The SWA letters remain along with the phrase "THIS IS WRESTLING!" under it as the image then fades out.

Bob:  The last time these two men faced was on Royals Debut and they fought to a draw.  Now we will see which one  can prove their worth.

Jerry:  As you all know, I am not a huge fan of debutantes until they have proven themselves but this Royal (who is the nicest devil worshiper I have ever known) has done pretty well for himself.  He just has to carry it on from here.

Cal: How many devil worshipers have you known Jerry?

Jerry: Never mind that, let's go to ringside and Tim Marshal to get this match going.  

( Royal vs. B Cool - two out of three falls )

Tim Marshal:  The following contest is a two out of three falls match.  The first person to get two falls will be declared the winner.

The lights go out except a blue spotlight which points at the entrance until Royal appears.

Tim Marshal: Introducing, from Toulouse France, weighing two hundred and thirty two pounds, here is Royal Delange!

Cal:  Here is a man who believes that he can take one huge step forwards and after teaming with Behemoth he feels that has given him enough confidence to be able to beat B Cool.

Jerry:  Learning from someone is one thing but applying it is quite another.  As I said, this kid has done pretty well but it's only a start, but I think he may have what it takes.

Bob: Wow Jerry giving someone a kinda vote of confidence, who would have thought that

The blue spotlight goes out then it is replaced by one Blood red one which follows Royal as he makes his way to the ring. Royal enters the ring and the blood red spotlight goes out, leaving the place in darkness until all the lights come back on. 

Mist rises up from the floor as Raise Up by Saliva begins to play. As the song picks up, the arena lights flash brightly and B Cool steps through the mist with a smile on his face. He walks proudly toward the ring, waving and smiling at fans as he goes.

Tim Marshal: On the way to the ring, from Columbus Ohio, weighing two hundred and forty two pounds, here is the SWA's Vice president, Brandon B Cool Cole!

Bob: B Cool really wanted to lay it all out there for Royal this week. Just the simple truth and then to see how Royal would take it.

Jerry: He took it by not answering. He does need to  learn to promote his matches earlier and more times than just once.

Cal:  You still think he could win this Jerry, you did sound a little negative there.

Jerry:  Just because I pointed out a truth or two of my own doesn't mean I don't think he can take it.  He still has  a good chance.

He climbs in the ring, turns once again to the crowd, and raises his arms in the air to their cheers. Then he moves to his corner.

The bell rings to begin the match. B Cool steps forwards and after both men look directly at each other they lock up.  B Cool takes control with a side headlock.  Royal attempts to fight out of it but B Cool keeps it applied.  B Cool then drops to his knees, taking Royal with him. 

Bob: Side headlock, a wear down move more than anything.

Jerry:  It's also used to gain control and position your opponent exactly where you want them.

Royal keeps attempting to fight out of it and eventually just manages to put his foot on the ropes.  B Cool releases the hold quite quickly and brings Royal to his feet.  B Cool whips the co number one contender for the tag titles into the ropes and catches him with a clothesline.   B Cool measures up Royal and dives down with an elbow drop.  Unfortunately for B Cool he misses and ends up eating the canvas.  

Jerry: This is your huge chance now Royal.  Ok so you have done nothing so far but here it is, your opportunity.

Cal:  This is something that a newcomer like Royal will need to learn, once a chance is presented to you or a chance you create for yourself, you have to take full advantage. 

Royal rolls over and sits up.  He then gets to his feet and charges forwards.  B Cool who is still on the ground is able to turn his body enough so that just as Royal arrives B Cool is able to take him to the mat with a drop toehold. 

Bob: Beautiful counter by B Cool, he knew exactly where Royal was and was able to turn the situation back in his favour.

Cal:  It's the experience of B Cool shining through.  It's also what he was talking about with his training and he says he is ready for Royal. 

B Cool then immediately presses his advantage by grabbing one of the legs of Royal and sitting on his back and completing the half crab by tucking the bent leg of Royal under his arm.  Royal screams in pain as B Cool wrenches on the hold and keeps it tightly applied.  Royal stretches and stretches and finally manages to get a finger tip to the bottom rope.  He hooks it with his finger and the referee begins a count. 

Jerry: He has the rope but it was a real stretch.  I bet he wishes he had Dhalsim's arms.  Mind you, a fat lot of  good that would have done him anyways.

Bob: Honestly Jerry.

B Cool breaks it on the four and of course it's a clean break.  Royal rolls over and sits up.  He looks the worse for wear as he tries to get his breath back.  Of course B Cool is not going to allow that luxury and after making his way over to him he gets Royal to his feet.  B Cool then applies a hammerlock and puts his head under the chin of Royal.  B Cool then drops to his knees and completes the hammerlock jawbreaker.  B Cool goes for a pin immediately.

Cal: Pin fall attempt right here.

One...

Two...

Shoulder up!

Bob: A two but he barely kicked out.

Sensing that Royal was only kicking out on instinct B Cool quickly goes back on the attack as Royal gets to his feet.  B Cool whips Royal into the ropes and as he comes back off B Cool goes immediately for the Cool crush.  The move is executed successfully and B Cool follows it up with a pin attempt.

Jerry: That's the idea now, Cool crush.

One...

Two...

Three!     

Tim Marshal:  The winner of the first fall, B Cool!

Cal: So how about Royal taking this Jerry?

Jerry: It was just Royal giving B Cool a chance, just watch now.

Both men go to their corners and the bell rings to begin the second fall.  B Cool charges forwards and Royal is ready for him and is able to execute an arm drag. With B Cool on the mat Royal goes to the top rope. 

Jerry: See I told you guys.  This is the start for Royal and the end for B Cool.

Cal: He is on the top rope and perhaps it's too early to attempt such a high risk move? 

He leaps off just as B Cool is getting to his feet.  unfortunately for Royal B Cool is able to easily avoid the flying attack by simply side stepping.  This of course deposits Royal on the mat and in a world of hurt. 

Bob: I think it was to early to attempt such a move, another rookie mistake, let's hope he learns from that.

Cal: Right now Bob Royal is in deep trouble so he better start learning quickly.

B Cool takes full advantage and sets Royal up for the Cool clutch.  After dragging Royal to the center of the ring and completing the rest of the move B Cool pulls back on the head and arms to apply pressure.  Royal struggles and struggles but B Cool has it locked on too tightly. 

Cal: Cool clutch! Cool clutch!

Jerry: There you go, a false sense of security for B  Cool.  He thinks he has the match won.

In the end Royal has no choice but to tap the mat with his foot and the referee calls for the bell.

Tim Marshal: here is your winner by a score of two falls to zero, Brandon B Cool Cole!

Jerry:  That was hopeless, I told you that B Cool would run away with the victory.  Royal was never in it.

Cal: What?  Come on Jerry, not even you...

Bob:  Pay no attention to him Cal, trust me on that.

B Cool stands up and the crowd cheer him.  Royal rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back.

Bob: A harsh lesson for Royal there, he just got dominated by B Cool.

Cal: He sure did and B Cool's experience and training showed here.  What a performance by him.

Jerry:  B Cool had the match scouted and won with ease.  What a strong lesson for Royal. I hope you are taking notes kids.

Bob: Well everyone can make their own minds up about that Jerry.  For us though, it's time to go.  We hope you have enjoyed the show and from Cal, and Jerry, this is Bob Macatire saying see you all next week.

Jerry: Hang on, how come you only said our first names and both of...

Jerry's microphone is cut as B Cool goes to the back and the screen fades to the SWA logo and then to black.