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Tonight's Matches: |
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The SWA logo spins on the screen as the electronic first notes of War by
the Sick Puppies begin to play. With every beat of the bass drum, sparks
shoot out from the logo, collecting on the other side of the screen.
After eight measures, these have formed the Edge logo. Both begin
expanding outward, distorting as they move beyond the edges of the
frame, still spinning all the while so each logo is completely visible
at one time or another. Then, just as the singer shouts "Let's do this,"
the screen seems to explode into several pieces. These begin to fall,
morphing into shots of things that have occurred on edges past, from the
SWA's very beginning to the present. These shots continue to fall into
frame as the guitar and drums pound through the speakers. Then, as the
vocals begin, we cut to the arena where pyros are exploding, and the
edge banner is flying high. The lights shine brightly down upon the
arena, making everything, including the crowd, seem to glow slightly. We
pan over them as they wave their arms and their signs, and as they cheer
for the spectacle they know they are about to behold. At last, we pan
over to Bob Macatire, Cal Norton, and Jerry Sheppard, sitting
comfortably in the announce position.
Bob: Good evening from Tampa Florida, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Bob
Macatire, as always sitting alongside my partners Cal Norton and Jerry
Sheppard.
Cal: It’s good to have you back, Bob. I hope things are going better for
you.
Jerry: I was kinda enjoying your absence, personally.
Cal: Ya know, Jerry, there comes a point where you should just stop.
Bob: Things are going better. Sarah’s, well, relatively alright now.
Cal: That’s good at least. I won’t mention it again. And if you do,
Jerry, I’ll ring your neck.
Jerry: I don’t believe you.
Cal: We’ll see.
Bob: Let’s put our minds on the show, folks. We’ve got some good matches
coming up, including another Mystery Box on a Pole match, an Xtreme
rules match…
Jerry: Winner right there.
Bob: And for our main event, what should be a staggering confrontation
between Peter Blizzard and Dominic McManus.
Cal: Well, it seems more likely that McManus will be doing the
staggering, but you never know.
Jerry: Ha! That was a pretty good one, Bob 2.
Cal: And that’s a horrible one.
Bob: Let’s kick this show off to a good start with…
”It’s my Life” by Bon Jovi begins to play and Roger makes his way out to
the ramp, dressed with a SWA T-Shirt. With a smile he walks down the
ramp, slapping hands with the fans. He enters the ring and gets the mic
from Tim. His music fades and with a smile he looks around and starts to
speak.
Cal: Oh come on now.
Jerry: What was that? He comes out to deliver messages from his brother,
and then to thank a bunch of people? This isn’t an awards ceremony.
Bob: The superstars have the right to do what they wish, within reason
of course, as part of our show.
Jerry: That wasn’t reasonable, that was a total waste of time!
Cal: Well then why don’t we get to the match, rather than jabber on, eh,
Jerry?
Jerry: Uh… Yeah! Let’s do that!
Bob: We’re starting off with a good one here. Arik Taylor is set to take
on Catalina South.
Jerry: Yeah, she may not talk, but that chick made him look like an
idiot. I mean, uh, more than usual.
Cal: Jerry, you’re woman-support is showing again.
Jerry: Look. There comes a point where idiocy outweighs all things. This
is that point.
Bob: Right. Well, Tim, get it started.
Nate, as far as we know, was working on his match, but then crashed, and
vanished. For this reason, here’s a real short rundown.
The match was a total beatdown. Catalina took the lead right away, and
never let it go, letting loose with a series of moves that Taylor just
couldn’t keep up with. Neckbreakers, stomps, kicks, even going so far as
to target his arm so he couldn’t perform his submissions. Their combined
impact brought him to the ground and kept him there. Then, when she felt
it was time, Catalina let him get up, only to deliver her finishing
superkick to the throat, and armbar submission. Having had no time to
recover, and nowhere to go, Arik had to tap out, making for one of the
most humiliating defeats in his career. Catalina walked away disgusted,
and Arik just walked away.
We close into Russell Brown sitting at a table in Sydney, Australia
singing autographs. Suddenly his phone that rests on the table begins to
vibrate. Russell looks at the text and nods. Russell then looks up at
the camera.
Russell Brown: Just got a text from SWA Mobile talking about how long
Izzy Omega is going to be out with a broken leg. Yeah, it's going to be
a while.
Russell signs a quick picture and then looks back up at the camera.
Russell Brown: I can get text messages from SWA Mobile anywhere at
anytime. Like here in Australia.
Russell quickly disappears on the screen and he then re-appears in the
bathroom taking a leak. Russell then checks his phone for another update
and then looks back up at the camera.
Russell Brown: Or even here at Vinny's Bar.
The camera then shifts to the outside of the bathroom door and when
Russell pushes the door open, he is in his ring gear. Russell holds out
his arms and the raining shower of pyro falls down on him. Suddenly
Russell is walking down a ramp at an SWA event as the cameras follow
behind him. Russell gets on the apron, rips off his hood and spreads his
arms once more before entering the ring and standing in his corner. The
cameras then face him and Russell pulls out his phone, looks at the text
message from SWA Mobile and then looks up at the camera.
Russell Brown: SWA Mobile. Anytime! Anywhere!
Russell then tosses the phone and charges at his opponent and right when
he goes to take a punch, the screen goes to black where the screen says
in blue and white writing "SWA Mobile. Anytime. Anywhere. Get all the
updates of the SWA on your phone today!"
The commercial then fades.
Bob: Moving right along we
are set to see the returning Hall of Famer Russell Brown take on our
current Xtreme Champion, Gidget the Midget!!
Cal: Xtreme Rules Match!
Will Russell Brown show us all that he is ready for success in
the SWA by winning against Gidget here tonight?
Jerry: Rur Rur?
Win? Those two don’t
belong in the same sentence.
Bob: Harsh, Jerry.
Rur Rur, I mean, Russell Brown has had a few good months off.
Let’s see if he can show the world why he became a Hall of Famer
in the first place.
Cal: Yeah, and let’s not
forget that Russell Brown is no stranger to an Xtreme match.
This match may be closer than you think, Jerry.
(
Russell Brown vs. Gidget the Midget- Xtreme Rules
Tim Marshal: The following
contest is scheduled for one fall, and is an Xtreme Rules Match!!!!
“Bad” by Michael Jackson begins to play on the speaker system.
Gidget
comes
straight down to the ring, with a grocery cart full of weapons.
Tim Marshal:
Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in
at 115 pounds, Gidget the Midget!!!!!!
He heads to the
ring and grabs the edge of the cart.
All the weapons fall out and Gidget grabs a stop sign.
He makes his way to the inside of the ring.
Jerry:
Yes!! Stop sign!
Chairs! Baseball
bats! Gidget came to play
today!!!!
He moves to the
middle of the ring, doing a little Michael Jackson spin, stopping and
grabbing his crotch, doing the whole Jackson pose as he lets out a
scream.
Bob:
Well Gidget knows what he has to do to pick up a win against
Russell Brown. If it means
he uses those weapons, then more power to him.
Frontline by Pillar slams on the PA. After the beginning guitar riffs
and the lyrics start, Russell Brown walks from behind the curtain. A
reigning shower of pyro begins to fall and Russell walks through the
pyro and stands posing in the famous star pose.
Tim Marshal: And his
opponent, from Cleveland, Ohio, weighing in at 228 pounds, “The Rising
Star” Russell Brown!”
He continues down the ramp and stares at the ring before climbing onto
the apron and facing the crowd. He then rips off his hood and grins at
the fans before entering the ring and posing in the ring just at the
opposite apron. After that he stands in his corner and eyes his opponent
or the entrance ramp as the music just plays through the arena.
Jerry:
I don’t understand why he constantly calls himself the “Rising
Star.” When was the
last time he showed any signs of rising??
Cal:
Well that’s why he wants to turn things around tonight against
Gidget, Jerry.
Jerry:
You’re such a Brownnoser, Cal.
Bob:
Wow, that was actually a pretty good joke there Jerry.
Props to you!!!
Jerry: What joke? I just
spoke the truth about Cal!
The bell rings to start
off the match. Gidget stands
with the stop sign to protect himself.
Russell Brown starts off the match with a big boot.
Gidget easily ducks out of the way, and Gidget hits a few hits
across his leg with a stop sign.
Bob: Gidget working on
that leg trying to take Rur rur off his feet early in the match!
Cal:
Man now you are calling him Rur rur too!
I guess Jerry’s lingo is catching on.
Jerry:
I have that effect on people!
With Russell kneeling
down, Gidget winds back, nailing Russell Brown right in the skull with
the stop sign. Russell falls
over and Gidget goes for the cover.
Bob:
Gidget trying to get an early victory!
One!
Two!!
Kick out by Russell
Brown!!
Cal:
After that devastating blow to the head I thought Gidget had it.
With Russell still down,
Gidget jumps in the air and nails a double foot stomp right to the chest
of Russell. Russell holds
his stomach in pain. We now
see Gidget roll out of the ring and head over to his grocery cart full
of weapons. He begins
throwing the contents of the cart in, including a baseball bat, chair,
and a metal trash can.
Jerry:
Now this is finally going to get interesting!
Bob:
Those stop sign shots weren’t good enough for you?
Gidget slides back into
the ring and waits for Russell to get back to his feet.
Gidget bounces off the rope and tries to nail a flying forearm,
but Russell ducks out of the way, waits for Gidget to turn back around,
and hits him with a spear, sending Gidget right onto ground.
Russell stands up and smiles at
the fans, getting a mixed reaction from the crowd.
Cal:
Russell finally takes control of the match.
That huge spear knocked the wind right out of poor Gidget.
Jerry:
Yeah, but now he’s too busy trying to get the crowd to like him.
Look they don’t even care at this point!
The spear doesn’t take
down Gidget for long, but Russell continues the offense.
When he sees Gidget get back to his feet he nails a front kick to
his stomach. He stands next
to the trash can and picks him up, trying to go for a powerbomb.
Bob:
Oh my! If Russell
Brown manages to slam Gidget into that metal trash can than the end of
this match is coming near!
Before Russell can slam
Gidget down, Gidget battles back on Russell’s shoulders with a few left
and right hook punches to the head.
With Russell stunned a bit Gidget uses all his power and slams
Russell Brown head first into the trash can, crushing it completely.
Russell Brown is laid out cold.
Cal:
Beautiful reversal there by Gidget, and perfectly executed right
on that trash can! That
trash can folded up like an accordion!
Jerry:
Yeah, exactly like an accordion Cal.
*cough* idiot *cough*
Cal:
Hey I heard that!
Jerry:
And your point?
With Russell laid out,
Gidget wastes little time and grabs both legs for the cover.
One!
Two!!!!
Th……Not quite!!!!!!
Gidget stands up and
begins to yell at the referee.
Jerry:
That’s right ref.
Meet Gidget’s demands!!
Bob: I can’t believe Russell is starting to get to his feet after
that amazing reversal by Gidget.
Gidget then grabs the steel chair.
When Russell slowly gets to his feet, Gidget throws the chair right at
his face but Russell manages to catch it in the air. Gidget then
leaps as high as he can, dropkicking the chair right into the face of
Russell Brown. With Russell laid out on the mat, Gidget leaps up
onto the top turnbuckle.
Cal: Chair sent right to the
face of Russell. And now Gidget’s up to the top turnbuckle!
Gidget leaps off the top rope, nailing
a Tadpole Splash right into the stomach of Russell.
Bob: Spelunker!!!!
Spelunker!!!!! Spelunker!!!! Off the top rope!!!!
Jerry: Calm down, J.R.
Gidget quickly hooks the leg for the
cover.
One!
Two!!!
Three!!!!!!!
Gidget stands up and begins to
celebrate.
Tim Marshal: Here is your
winner, Gidget the Midget!!!!!!
With Russell still laid out, Gidget
points and laughs at him before rolling out of the ring and making his
way to the back. Cal: Not an impressive return for the “Rising Star” Russell Brown. Perhaps ring rust is a factor?
Bob: Most certainly, and you
also have to take under consideration Gidget works extremely well in the
Xtreme environment.
Jerry: You two loons need to
stop making excuses for Rur rur. He just needs to hang the boots
up for real.
As Gidget makes his way up the ramp,
he passes by some fans and gives them high fives. Then, out of
nowhere, one of the fans punches Gidget right in the temple with a pair
of brass knuckles.
Cal: Oh my god! That fan
just knocked Gidget right out.
Bob: Actually that’s not a fan
at all, Cal. That’s Lance King!!!!
Lance then hops the barricade.
He signals a referee to come out of the back. Lance kneels down
and goes for a cover.
One!
Two!!!
Three!!!!!!
The referee awards Lance King the
Xtreme Championship!!!
Jerry: Wow, I love this new and
improved Lance King!!! New Champion!!!!
Cal: There’s no doubt that was
one of the more clever methods of winning the Xtreme Title!!!
Russell Brown runs up the ramp in an
attempt to dethrone the champion. He takes a swing, but Lance
blocks the punch and throws his own punch, hitting Russell with the
brass knucks as well.
Bob: Brass knucks to the head of
not only Gidget, but Russell Brown!!!
Lance King then raises both hands up,
with one hand holding the Xtreme Championship and the other with the
brass knuckles on his hand. He grins evilly and makes his way to
the back.
Bob: Well folks after a hard
fought match, Gidget’s success quickly came to an end after that vicious
assault from Lance King.
Cal: Well, up next is another
Mystery on a Pole match!! We see Team Swiss battle it out.
Who will win? Kurt Mountain!? Senor Swiss?
Jerry: Who cares??
Cal: Hush Jerry. We’ll be
back!
The scene opens onto a young couple.
They are clearly newly wed and very much in love as their eyes show that
sparkle of a relationship which hasn't been
tested just yet. They are sitting in
the living room of their new house. The female turns to the male, a look
of complete joy on her face.
Female: Hey babe let's go out, it's a
beautiful night.
Male: Sure why not.
They make their way out and stand in
the garden. It is indeed a beautiful night. The stars are shining
brightly and the night is very still and calm. The male looks up at the
sky and then at his new wife.
Male: Look the whole night is so
perfect, there is even a shooting star. Go ahead hon and make a wish.
The female looks up and indeed there
is a shooting star. She looks more carefully at the shooting star and
gasps.
Female: That's no shooting star babe
that's….
The ball of fire that was mistaken for
a shooting star is now hurtling towards the ground. The couple quickly
back away as it lands with a heavy splash in the pond. The couple
approach the pond as a figure pulls it-self out of the water.
Male: Hey it's SWA superstar Riz.
Riz is now standing at the edge of the
pond with a huge jet pack on his back. On the back of the jet pack
written in bright yellow writing is the word Rizomatic.
The female looks at the soaking wet
Riz and shakes her head.
Female: What is all this about?
Riz looks at the couple.
Riz: I am sorry but I was testing the
Rizomatic. The Jet pack which always gets you from point A to B.
He says the last sentence in a voice
which is meant to be an announcer’s voice but doesn't come off well at
all. Male: So seen as you were trying to get from a to b, am I right to presume that b was our pond?
Riz shakes his head and now has a very
sheepish look on his face.
Riz: Uh no sorry about that. I guess
there is a fault in the mechanics and perhaps it needs more tests.
His voice brightens up and he once
again adopts that poor announcer’s voice.
Riz: But just for you two you can have
a his and hers Rizomatic for free.
The couple have an identical look of
incredulity on their faces after hearing these words.
Male: get the hell out of our garden
or we are calling the cops.
Riz backs away from them slightly. He
then uses his announcer’s voice again.
Riz: Buy the Rizomatic the jet pack
that gets you from point A to...
The couple run towards him and chase
him out of the garden as some writing appears at the bottom of the
screen.
"The Rizomatic! The SWA's choice for
jet packs. Use at your own risk.
Bob: Welcome back, and for
our next match here we're being joined on commentary by ...
Angel: By me, your
friendly neighborhood Commissioner and my trusty sidekick Rocket!
Jerry: Oh great, her.
Angel: Hey! Rocket is a he
not a her, dumbass.
Cal: Right, so
Commissioner we've got another one of your Mystery Box matches between
Kurt Mountain and Senor Swiss here.
Bob: Right, so let's just
head to Tim Marshal and get this started.
Tim Marshal: The following
contest is a ...
Angel: Shut up Bob, I
wasn't done speaking yet ya smelly doucheface.
Tim Marshal: Mystery Box
On A Pole Match, the only way to win is to climb the pole and retrieve
the box!
"Stahn uf" by Baschi,
Bligg, Ritschi, Seven and Stress begins to play as the lights darken and
red and white spotlights flare in chaotic patterns around. As the song
starts with the “let’s go” Kurt Mountain appears on the ramp.
Jerry: So girl wonder,
what kind of matchup do you think we'll see here?
Angel: Well, the fatty is
gonna try to grapple the other one and use all his fat to keep him
grounded. He doesn't want to let the speedy little fucker go, because
he's fat. The other one's gonna try to take his foundation away, cut him
down. Don't go for the pole early, make sure he's down or there's a lot
of distance, he'll just get ripped off the pole otherwise.
Cal: So, that's your
expert opinion?
Angel: No dumbass, it's
what they said in their promos this week when they mapped the whole
match out. And we can take their word for it, because let's be honest
... they're pretty shitty liars. Pretty sure we'd know if they were
bullshitting with that.
Bob: I'm pretty sure the
references to Kurt being overweight weren't what they said in their
promos. Not a fan of their attitude, but that really wasn't called for.
Angel: Yes, it was too
called for.
He looks around at the
fans and then kneels on one knee putting his head down. Senor Swiss
comes running up from behind him and jumps over him, using his partner
as leverage and lands in the middle of the ramp after a somersault. He
waits for Kurt to follow him. They continue down the ramp ignoring the
fans. They reach the ring and Kurt takes position in the middle before
the apron. He turns towards Senor Swiss and holds out his hands folded
together. Senor Swiss runs up and Kurt catapults him over the ropes into
the ring with another somersault.
Cal: So right, anyways.
This is some elaborate entrance they have.
Jerry: Maybe if they spent
less time practicing their choreography, and more time listening to
people's advice about how they approach the pre-match verbal battle,
they would fare a little better.
Rocket: Arf!
Angel: I think he's
agreeing with you.
Bob: Great, you two being
on the same page is the last thing we need.
Kurt then slides into the
ring. They both climb up a turnbuckle, well Senor Swiss just jumps up
his and throw their fists into the air, roaring “Grüezi!”. Then they
climb down and go to their respective corners, looking at the box and
each other, waiting for the match to start.
Tim Marshal: Introducing
first, weighing in at 340 pounds, from Chur, Switzerland, Kurt Mountain!
And his opponent, weighing in at 150 pounds, from Zurich, Switzerland,
Senor Swiss!
The bell rings, and both
competitors square off. Senor immediately starts firing off a few quick
low roundhouse kicks to the thighs, looking to knot them up. He goes to
irish whip Kurt off the ropes, but is reversed and sent flying with a
back body drop off the rebound. Kurt then knocks him down with a
powerful shoulder block, and as he stumbles back to his feet takes Senor
down then floats over keeping a hold of a waistlock.
Cal: Kurt trying to keep
him grounded here with his grappling skills.
Bob: I think it might have
been smarter to go for a big slam or spinebuster there, take his back
out. It would wear him down a lot more quickly.
Jerry: Your face isn't
very smart Bob.
Angel: Ha, burn!
Bob: Really, that's your
feedback?
Cal: Anyways, there's a
match going ....
Rocket: Arf! Arf!
Kurt switches to a front
facelock, still trying to
use all his weight to keep Senor down. Senor slowly starts trying to
make his way to his feet, up to one knee first and then a standing
position. Delivering elbows to the sternum to try and free himself.
Feeling his grip loosen slightly, Kurt switches his grip and delivers a
big tiger suplex sending Senor flying.
Bob: Here's a chance for
him, he should go for the box now.
Angel: Jiggle those
thunder thighs tubby!
Bob: Will you stop
already?
Cal: This 4 person
announce booth is really not working.
Jerry: Well shut up then,
we already have one Bob.
Angel: That's 5 people,
don't forget Rocket!
Bob: He's not a person,
he's a dog.
Angel: So's your Mom.
Kurt makes his way over
to the pole as best he can, but Senor springs back to his feet and
sprinting over manages to catch him with a drop toe hold taking him
down. He quickly backs up and follows up with a running senton
across the lower back of Kurt. Pausing for a moment to catch his
breath, he heads to the apron. Springboarding in, he lands another
Senton across Kurt's back before deciding to head for the pole.
Cal: Now Senor looks for
his chance at the pole.
Angel: Have you noticed
they talked a lot about jerking each other off poles? Kinda makes you
wonder about those two.
Bob: They talked about
ripping each other off poles, not ... nevermind.
As Senor makes his way to
the top turnbuckle, and reaches up trying to unfasten the box, Kurt
makes his way back up. Stepping underneath Senor and lifting him up on
his shoulders, he falls back delivering an electric chair drop which
takes a lot out of both men. Finally after several moments, Kurt get
back to his feet first and starts lurching forward toward the corner
feeling he has a good enough advantage. In a desperation move however,
Senor pulls himself up with the ropes and dropkicks Kurt from behind
sending him falling so he lands face first across the middle turnbuckle.
Climbing over his partner's back, Senor again reaches the top
turnbuckle. Kurt is able to reach one massive arm out though and shoves
Senor so he goes flying and crashes hard to the floor down below.
Gingerly climbing to the second buckle, Kurt is able to reach up and
unfasten the box as the bell rings.
Tim Marshal: Here is your
winner, Kurt Mountain!
Cal: A hard-fought match
there, but Kurt comes out victorious. Certainly an impressive athletic
contest.
Jerry: Maybe he should be
calling the shots then instead of the little loudmouth spaz.
Bob: You're the leader of
Team Swiss?
Jerry: Shut up Bob, you
know what I meant.
Angel: Both of you hush,
no need to stir the pot. That's not what this match was about, it was
about the awesome prize in the box.
"Stahn uf" plays again as
the referee raises Kurt's hand in victory, then he goes to open the box.
Revealing the contents to be one ticket to a Ronnie James Dio tribute
show at a local nightclub.
Angel: Wow, lucky him ...
I'll be performing at that show! Attendance is of course mandatory.
Cal: You can play an
instrument?
Jerry: You can sing?
Rocket: Arf?
Bob: See, even your dog
seems thrown off.
Angel: Shut up douchewads.
I'm Irish, of course I can sing.
By this point, Senor has
recovered and made his way back into the ring where Kurt dusts his
shoulders off in a gesture of respect before they exit the ring and head
to the back together.
Jerry: Why are they
dusting each other's shoulders? There's no dust, and this isn't Swiss
Wrestling.
Angel: They probably just
want to get a bit more touchy feely with each other.
Cal: You just had to get
one more shot in, didn't you? I swear the two of you are ridiculous.
Bob: Well in any case, we
should be heading to a commercial but stay tuned for Royal vs. Ventor.
Commissioner, it's been ... interesting having you on commentary.
Angel: Yeah, fuck you too
buddy.
Bob: Right, commercial now
... please.
The scene opens outside in
a local park outside of New York City. The camera is viewing an older
gentleman sitting on a bench, holding his cane and his bag full of bird
seed. The man grabs some seed and throws it on the ground, attracting
most of the pigeons around the area. Mark Ventor, who is in the
background. Ventor walks up to the man and speaks..
Ventor: Listen!!
The old man doesn't
respond. Ventor raises an eyebrow, speaking with a louder tone of voice.
Ventor: I
said.....Listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still, the old man doesn't
say anything. For the third time, Ventor tries to communicate with the
elder man.
Ventor:
LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The man doesn't respond.
Announcer's Voice: Need a
hearing aid? Get Miracle Ear Digital Hearing Aids. Now you can listen to
everyone's voice.....even Mark Ventor's!
This time, the old man is
equipped with one of the hearing aids this time. Ventor demands one more
time....
Ventor: What part of
LISTEN don't you understand!!!!!
The old man looks over
quickly at Ventor, almost like Ventor scared him a bit.
Old Man: You didn't have
to yell!!
Ventor rolls his eyes as
the scene fades to black....
Bob: Royal Delange has his chance to beat a veteran here tonight as he
faces off against Mark Ventor.
Jerry: What happened the last
time he faced a guy who has been around for a while? he choked.
If he is really serious here he needs to show it.
Cal: Give him a bit of a break
Jerry, nobody can fault him for losing to B Cool.
Jerry: It's not that he lost to B Cool, it's the manner in which he lost.
Bob: Yes and on the other side of the ring is Ventor who really says he
wants to get things going again.
Jerry: So all we have right
now are words, let's get down to the ring and see which one of them will
be eating them later. Take it away Marshal Tim. Cal: Marshal Tim?
Tim Marshal: The following
contest is scheduled for one fall.
The lights go out except a blue spotlight which points at the entrance
until Royal appears.
Tim Marshal: Introducing, from Toulouse France, weighing two hundred and
thirty two pounds, here is Royal Delange!
Bob: We are a week and two
days away from Royal's first title shot.
Losing this match won't be the end of the world for him but a win
on the other hand could do his confidence a world of good.
Cal: It's a case of doing what you know, keeping it simple and trying not
to make too many mistakes.
Jerry: Wait a go Cal, you should
write a book on positive thinking.
The blue spotlight goes out then it is replaced by one Blood red one
which follows Royal as he makes his way to the ring. Royal enters the
ring and the blood red spotlight goes out, leaving the place in darkness
until all the lights come back on.
"Wolfbiker" by Evergreen Terrace begins to play as Ventor walks out onto
the stage. As Ventor makes his way to the ring, orange pyros erupt from
the stage.
Tim Marshal: His opponent, from Trenton New Jersey, weighing two hundred
and eighty pounds, here is Ventor!
Jerry: Ventor has been blowing hot and cold.
If he can get a string of wins together he may be able to make
something of himself here.
Cal: That could be said for almost anyone here.
Bob: Yes even you Jerry.
Jerry: yeah Bob, what ever.
He begins to strut down the ramp in a flashy robe, getting a mixed
reaction from the crowd. He slides into the ring, raising his hands in
the air, to make his arms shaped like a "V." He jumps off and takes his
robe off. He folds it up and waits for his opponent.
The bell rings and both men take the center of the ring.
They lock up and Ventor takes control with a side headlock.
Royal delivers a couple of elbows and eventually breaks the hold.
He backs off and then after springing off the ropes he catches
Ventor with a spinning heel kick.
Ventor drops to one knee and then Royal takes him down with a
flying clothesline.
Cal: Positive start for Royal here.
Stay on the larger Ventor and don't give him a chance to use his
size and technical know how.
Jerry: You should write a
book Cal, an idiots guide to obvious strategies.
Cal: And Jerry you should write a book yourself, an idiots guide to
idiots.
Jerry: That's fine, I will put Bob on the front cover.
Royal then lands an elbow drop on the chest of Ventor.
Royal hooks the leg as the referee gets positioned and goes for
the count.
One...
Bob: An early attempt here for Royal.
Two...
Kick out!
Cal: An authoritative kick out by Ventor there.
Not a bad plan by Royal but Ventor was nowhere near ready.
Royal stands up and brings Ventor to his feet.
He hooks Ventor's head as if to go for a DDT and manages to land
it. Royal then climbs to the
top rope. He looks around
himself before leaping off and completely missing the elbow he was
intending to land. Ventor
had managed to roll away as Royal had leapt.
Jerry: Now that's how not to
utilise a flying move, quickly Cal, write it down.
Cal: You know what Jerry... Never mind, you are not even worth bothering
with.
Ventor now rolls over once more and slowly gets up.
Ventor drags Royal to his feet and lifts him up in a suplex
position. He falls forwards
when Royal is at the apex of the lift which completes the gordbuster.
Ventor then locks in an oma plata armbar.
Royal screams in pain as Ventor cinches in the hold.
Bob: A dangerous move there and Royal doesn't want to go into a title
shot with a broken arm.
Cal: I really think this match is over right here.
There is no way he can escape.
Royal struggles and struggles but the hold is locked on too tightly.
In sheer desperation Royal puts everything he has into rolling
over.
Jerry: You got that wrong Cal, you should go back to stating the obvious.
Cal: And you Jerry should go back to losing to the bread zombie and
acting like a sexist pig.
This works and Ventor is forced to break the hold.
However that took allot out of Royal and Ventor spotting this
brings Royal to his feet once again.
Ventor whips Royal into the ropes and catches him with a
belly-to-belly suplex. Royal
knowing he has to do something rolls over and gets to his feet.
Ventor quickly makes his way towards him but Royal rolls up
Ventor for an attempted surprise pin.
Bob: A roll up! This match
could be over right here.
One...
Two...
kick out
Only in the nick of time is Ventor able to get that left shoulder up
which of course means that the match is to continue.
Jerry: I am sure the referees
hand hit the mat the third time, we should have a replay.
Bob: No it was certainly a two, it was probably the longest two we will
ever see however.
Both men get to their feet and Ventor delivers a shin kick, followed by
an elbow and then a cross.
Ventor once again whips Royal into the ropes.
Royal manages to leap frog the crouching Ventor and lands behind
him. As Ventor turns around
he is taken to the mat with a head scissors takedown.
Royal springs off the ropes, leaps over Ventor's prone body and
springs off the other side.
When he gets to Ventor this time he leaps in the air and lands a senton
splash. Royal then backs
away and as Ventor gets up Royal charges forwards and leaps in the air.
Ventor catches him in mid-air and then turning around Ventor
charges into the corner which drives Royal back first into the
turnbuckle. Ventor lets go
of Royal who falls to the mat crumpled.
Cal: Stopped dead just like that.
The risk that it takes to be a high flyer
is certainly brought
into relief when you see something like that happen.
Jerry: Yes but don't forget Cal, the greater the reward if you land it.
Ventor gives Royal no time to recover though and with out a moments delay
lifts him up once again.
This time Ventor's attack of choice
is a Fisherman's suplex.
He holds onto it after the moves completion and thus a pinning
sequence is initiated.
One...
Two...
Shoulder up!
Bob: Oh my that was so close, I thought it was over.
Cal: I think Ventor nearly did too.
Ventor backs away as he watches a rather groggy Royal get to his feet.
Ventor charges forwards and Royal only just about manages to side
step the attempted spear.
Ventor goes into the ropes and ends up being tangled with in them.
This is the perfect opening for Royal.
He takes full advantage of it by delivering a couple of hard
shots to the body of Ventor.
Ventor manages to free himself from the ropes but finds himself taken
down to the mat with a drop toehold.
Royal mounts Ventor and delivers a few hard shots to the back of
Ventor's head. Royal then
gets to his feet and as Ventor gets to his Royal hits him with a drop
kick. this causes Ventor to
fall back. He lands in the
ropes and as a result of this he ends up propped up against them.
Royal charges forwards and leaps in the air.
He misses the attempted flying body press though and because of
this and Ventor's previous location ends up flying to the outside and
landing painfully on the floor.
The crowd gasp as they see the fall and here the thud.
Cal: I think in time Royal
will learn when best to do a risky move like that and when not to.
Bob: I think it was a good as a chance as any Cal.
He had done some damage and had he connected it would have sent
them both out but with Ventor cushioning Royal's fall.
Jerry: But for now, splat.
Ventor uses this opportunity to recover.
Royal gets slowly to his feet as the referees count is on his
mind. Royal rolls into the
ring and gets to his feet.
At once though he is nailed with the vintage right uppercut.
Ventor drags Royal to his feet and whips him into the ropes.
Ventor delivers a second belly-to-belly suplex.
Ventor then gets some distance between himself and Royal.
As the latter gets up however Ventor nails him with the classic
left hook which connects with a sickening crack.
Just like that Royal is out and surely down for the count.
Ventor tests this theory as he goes for a pin.
Jerry: Classic left hook!
Royal, is, out!
One...
Two...
Three!
Tim Marshal: Here is your winner, Ventor!
Jerry: Back to the start for
Royal but a win for Ventor. He has to be very pleased with that.
Now let's see what he can do with it.
Bob: What a match but they better get someone down there to check up on
Royal.
Cal: I think he will be fine Bob, he just took a huge classic left hook
and we shouldn't be surprised if there are a couple of teeth laying in
the ring.
Ventor stands up and begins to celebrate as his music plays.
Royal remains on the ground, unmoving and clearly unconscious.
After a few more moments Ventor heads to the back and a person
from the SWA medical staff checks up on Royal.
By now though he is fine.
He is sitting up and looking around whilst trying to gather his
bearings. Royal gets up and
after one final look at the fans makes his way to the back.
Bob: Royal now has to focus on his up coming tag match.
He has to dust himself off and move on from this.
Cal: And we wait to see what's next in the wings for Ventor. Can he take
this win and make another follow and then another?
Jerry: The only thing that is
following for us is a break.
After it though we have more action as Peter Blizzard takes on Dominic
McManus.
Smoke begins to filter into a dark screen as an image of a red line
appears on the screen.
"There are no lines to cross."
The red line suddenly disappears as a giant WE shows up where the line
was.
"This isn't wrestling entertainment."
The letters begin to fade away but stop and crack apart and fall out of
view.
"This is on the Edge!"
The EDGE Logo flashes onto the screen and begins to move to the top.
"This is nothing but Aggression!"
The aggression logo falls into the picture and smashes into the bottom of
the screen with force, slightly breaking apart the letters.
"You are In the Squared Circle!"
An image of ITSC host Brandon Cole flashes onto the screen as he talks
into a mic in his studio. The image begins to slightly fade to where the
other two words shine through it.
"This is the SWA!"
The SWA letters break through the rest of the screen and smoke as they
shine bright and everything else fades out.
"THIS IS WRESTLING!" The SWA letters remain along with the phrase "THIS IS WRESTLING!" under it as the image then fades out.
Bob: Welcome back to
the show. Prepare yourself, because it’s time for our main event.
Jerry: This main event’s nothing like the last couple we’ve had, but eh,
maybe it’ll be good.
Cal: Well, with Peter Blizard on the warpath he’s been on this week,
there might even be some blood.
Jerry: Oooo! Really?
Bob: Cal, you shouldn’t have said anything.
Cal: Probably not. Woops.
Jerry: Bloooooood! Bring it on!
Bob: Right. Let’s just get to Tim Marshal and get this started. Tim?
Tim Marshal: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
For whom the bell tolls by Metallica begins to play and Peter Blizzard
steps out onto the stage. He looks around at all the fans for a moment
before he begins to walk towards the ring. His steps are very methodical
and his attention is solely focused on the ring.
Tim Marshal: Introducing first, from Newcastle, England, weighing in at
410 pounds, Peter Blizard!
Jerry: Well he’s all business.
Bob: I’m sure his anger is barely controlled.
Cal: And when it bursts forth from that large frame of his, well, it’s a
good thing we’re not in the way.
Jerry: You can say that again, but I urge you not to.
As he climbs up the steps and on the apron he casts his eyes around once
more. He then steps over the top rope and takes his corner.
The music hits the sound system, the sound of bagpipes filling the
arena, quickly accompanied by drums. As the music begins to get into
full swing large green, white and orange pyros set off on both sides of
the stage. Dominic emerges from the back, seeming to stumble onto the
stage. A bottle of ale in hand, he holds it up, giving a yell at the
crowd. He moves to the edge of the stage, tossing the bottle off to the
side and jumps off of the stage, landing on the floor next to the ramp.
Tim Marshal: And his opponent, from Blackrock, Ireland, weighing in at
145 pounds, Dominic McManus!
Bob: Dominic was very clearly trying to manipulate Peter this week.
Trying to make him question himself, and his recent actions.
Cal: All in all, it was rather clever, if a bit cruel.
Jerry: I’m surprised you admit to that, Bob 2. It’s true, but I’m still
surprised.
Bob: I’m just thankful his attempts didn’t work, and Calypso was able to
keep his head.
He then runs down the lane, giving high fives to those in front before
sliding into the ring and pulling his shirt off, tossing it into the
crowd before turning his attention to his opponent.
Jerry: Watch. Peter’s gonna do his “unleashing the anger” bit, totally
own Dominic, and we’ll have yet another 30-second match.
Cal: It has been common of late, but I hope you’re wrong.
The bell rings, and Peter explodes out of his corner, roaring across the
ring toward Dominic. Peter’s hand shoots out, slamming into Dominic’s
throat, and he lifts him into the air. He grabs the back of his neck
with his free hand, then turns to deliver a double-handed chokeslam.
Jerry: See? Just like I told you.
Bob: He’s going for a chokeslam this early? Cal: It certainly look…
Wait, there’s the counter!
Dominic boots Peter in the gut, and the sudden shock causes Peter to
lose his grip. Therefore, Dominic is dropped instead of slammed, and he
is able to remain on his feet. He coughs a few times, but still manages
to duck Peter’s swing as he goes for him. Then, he sweeps peter’s leg,
tripping him, and as he’s falling forward, leaps tremendously, and
faceplants him.
Bob: Oh wow! What a move by Dominic! Beautiful faceplant!
Cal: And on a guy that much bigger than you, that’s sayin something.
Jerry: Yeah, except uh, look at Peter. He’s hardly feelin it.
Peter starts to get up immediately, forcing Dominic to roll away from
him. Peter’s on his feet remarkably fast, and manages to kick Dominic in
the side before he can get up. Then, Peter reaches down, scoops him up,
grabs him by the throat once more, and tosses him across the ring.
Bob: Throat toss! And Peter showing us just how lethal he can be.
Cal: Lethal is right. He sure does go for the throat a lot.
Bob: Well, he was trained to hurt and hurt badly. That’s one way to do
it.
Jerry: Or, you could make your opponent bleed.
Peter walks over to Dominic, but Dominic manages to roll away from
Peter’s attempted kick, grab the ropes, and use them for leverage as he
gets back to his feet once more.
Bob: Dominic back on his feet, but it looks like he might be a bit
staggered.
Peter watches Dominic as he pushes his way away from the ropes, and he
does indeed look staggered. Peter steps back, then lunges him,
attempting to keep him off his guard, but Dominic quickly dodges, and
Peter’s right shoulder connects solidly with the turnbuckle post.
Cal: He’s not that hurt at all! He was faking it to take advantage.
Bob: And what a big advantage. If that arm’s out of action now, that’ll
help Dominic a great deal.
Jerry: But it won’t help my bloodlust at all!
Dominic takes advantage of the momentarily stunned Peter, and rushes
forward, slamming himself into Calypso’s enormous back, and causing his
shoulder to hit the post again. He bounces off, almost litarlly, and
comes back to try again, but this time Calypso elbows him right in the
face, turns around, and grabs Dominic around the waist. A very slight
grimace shows that his shoulder is hurting a little, but he fights
through the pain, lifts Dominic up, flips him over, steps forward, and
delivers a tombstone piledriver.
Bob: And Blizard’s had enough. Tombstone!
Cal: That could honestly do it. Peter Blizard’s the kind of guy that
doesn’t need his finisher to beat somebody. All his moves have that
potential.
Jerry: Is he bleeding? Come on, Dominic, bleed!
Cal: Looks like Peter’s going for the cover.
Indeed he does, almost immediately after the piledriver’s impact. TO
Jerry’s delight, there is a small cut on Dominic’s head that oozes
blood. The referee makes the count.
1…
2…
Dominic kicks out at 2 and a half. The crowd offers up a surprised
cheer, and Peter gets back to his feet, his face still only showing his
anger at Dominic.
Bob: Dominic kicked out! Unbelievable!
Cal: Dominic’s showing a lot of fighting spirit right now. He’s done
very well against a much bigger man, and a much angrier one.
Jerry: And he’s even bleeding! Yaaaaay!
Bob: That’s seriously all you’ve talked about through this whole match.
Jerry: It’s the most important thing, that’s why.
Peter throws another kick at Dominic, but again Dominic manages to roll
away, and get back up. Peter lunges for him, his face a snarling mask of
anger and hatred, but Dominic leaps up, and slams a beautiful dropkick
into Peter’s chest.. Peter is knocked back, and then loses his balance.
He falls backward, the back of his head clipping the same turnbuckle
post his shoulder struck earlier. It is still a solid clip, and Peter
slides down, landing on his back.
Bob: And there’s a dropkick! Oh man, I think Peter’s head might’ve hit
that post there.
Cal: Wow. Never thought I’d see the day a dropkick could be someone’s
undoing, but this might be it.
Jerry: Wait. But I don’t think Peter’s bleeding yet!
Bob: Doesn’t matter, Jerry. Dominic’s covering.
Dominic drags Peter away from the turnbuckle, having to grunt with
effort as he does so, and then covers.
1…
2…
Peter forces his shoulder up, and in fact sits up. Even so, it was
almost 3 before he did so.
Bob: And Peter just barely kicks out. That shot to the head really
almost was it for him.
Jerry: Yep. Looks like I have to resign myself to one cut.
Cal: It’s not like this was an Xtreme match, Jerry.
Jerry: Hey, you’re the one that told me there might be blood.
Cal: I know, I know.
Peter and Dominic both get to their feet. Dominic runs for the ropes,
trying for a move that’ll keep Peter from fully recovering. He appears
to be going for another dropkick as he leaps into the air, but Peter
catches him this time, grabs onto his throat yet again, and performs his
finisher, Pure and Simple.
Bob: Plain and Simple! And with that tremendous shot to the back on top
of what Dominic’s already taken, that’s gotta be it.
Cal: I agree. Peter should just cover him now.
Jerry: Looks like he is. And how right it is that the one that’s not
bleeding gets the win.
Peter covers at once, and for the moment, Dominic doesn’t appear to be
moving.
1…
2…
3!
Tim Marshal: Here is your winner, Peter Blizard!
Peter’s music hits, and Peter looks down, momentarily looking triumphant
as he stares at the fallen Dominic.
Bob: Peter Blizard gets the victory, but how lucky he was that he was
able to kick out of the headshot he took.
Cal: Yeah, though Dominic was lucky he took that shot as well. Still,
Dominic fought very well, given the fact that Peter outpowers and
outweighs him.
Jerry: Dominic is lying in a puddle of his own blood. I wouldn’t call
that fighting well.
Bob: Then obviously you weren’t watching the match.
Jerry: Hey! I was too!
Peter leaves the ring, walking back up the ramp the same way he came
down it.
Bob: It’s really good to see a good, close match like that again.
Cal: That it is. And a good match to end the show on as well.
Jerry: Wait. Are you guys ignoring me now?
Bob: Folks, that’s all the time we have. For Cal Norton, I’m Bob
Macatire.
Jerry: And Jerry Sheppard! Jerry Sheppard, Bob!
Bob: We’ll see you next week!
Jerry: Why I oughta…
We see a shot of Dominic struggling to his feet, blood still oozing from
the cut on his head, and leaving the ring under his own power as our
scene fades to the SWA logo, and at last to black. |
