Hello, Jerryatrics. I’m gonna get right into this edition, because what I have to talk about needs discussing, and it needs it now. What is the topic of this edition, you might ask? Why, last month’s edition, of course. I am very, very disappointed, and the SWA, along with all those Jerryatrics out there, are about to find out just how much. And I’m gonna tell them through the mouthpiece they provided me with. Perfect, isn’t it?

So, did you all see last month's edition? The new digital only format’s really taking the column to new heights, right? Wrong! Last month, I didn’t even get a banner, folks. They couldn’t take some time out of their oh-so-busy banner-making schedules, couldn’t put down the Bloodsport banner for just the few seconds it would’ve taken to make something for Jerry’s Jive last month. I swear, the banner for this edition had better be something totally awesome. It had better be shiny, it had better be colorful, and it had better express just how great I am in several different ways, because if it doesn’t, I will take action. What action I will take I am not sure yet, but I will not sit here watching every single other thing that goes on around here get an awesome-looking banner on the site except for the very best one, this column right here. It’s just wrong.

What was it, I ask? What was it that made them decide to hold off? Was it that the SWA is determined to make a fool out of me? Are they mad at me because of what I say about women? Well guess what, SWA? I don’t care. Go ahead, say you’re mad. Say that you’re punishing me for my opinions. It’s what the rest of the world does to other free-thinkers, right? Why should the SWA be any different? Why shouldn’t the SWA prove, just like everyone, and everything else, that the constitutional right to freedom of speech is nothing more than a sham? Oh yeah. This really burns me, and I will not hesitate to bring lawyers into this if I have to. It’s time I get some real acknowledgement in this company.

I’ll bet you’re wondering just how long I’ve been angry about this. Your answer? Since Jerry’s Jive last month. I’ve held it in week after week, show after show, not demonstrating it in the slightest. Now, the time has come, and the SWA had better recognize. If I catch one person trying to delete this, I will hurt them worse than I hurt Bob when we faced off. My Jerryatrics want to, no, need to be able to read what I have to say, and I simply will not allow them to be denied that. They shouldn’t be denied a banner either, or any of the other lavishments all the other shows get, but this is the SWA, where most people don’t get what they deserve, good or bad.

I had better stop. Seriously. If I don’t, I won’t, and I’m intelligent enough to know that this can be taken too far. Of course the reason why goes back to my previous statements, but what can I do? In the end, I have to keep my job, and that’s how they get ya. The moral of this story, Jerryatrics, is this. Don’t work if you can avoid it. You do not want to be held down like I’ve been. Until next time… Blah. I’m so mad I can’t even come up with a clever ending. Whatever.