Ahem. Hello there, Jerryatrics, and welcome to another edition of Jerry's Jive. There. Now all the pleasantries are out of the way. I GOT SCREWED! Yeah, you saw the capital letters just now. I GOT TOTALLY FREAKING SCREWED by this company yet again! You all didn't think I shot a promo for my match against B Dull, did ya? Ya thought old Jerry just didn't say a word, huh? Not so, Jerryatrics, not so! I shot a promo! The greatest promo ever shot! Yeah, I shot it, and this fine, fine company didn't even air it! Oh, but Brandon sure saw it, didn't he? He saw all of it!

Come on! Does it look weird to nobody that his second promo was very obviously a response to mine? Ya know, the one that wasn't aired on SWA TV? That's exactly what it was! A response! Bob and Cal tried to brush it off as Brandon jumping ahead of me in the pre-match mental game, but even they had to know better! Seriously. Me, not as smart as Brandon? That in itself is pure idiocy! How does it feel now, Brandon? How does it feel to look like a fool, now that the real truth is out? Didn't wanna air that promo, did ya? Didn't wanna damage your precious credibility, which is what my promo would've done. Oh yes, folks, it was that good. Have I said already that it was the greatest promo ever shot? I will get that tape back, I swear it. I will air that promo, and I will destroy Brandon once and for all! And when that's done, I will be VP of this company, and all my Jerryatrics can celebrate my greatest victory! Hey Damien, you want some help? Put me in a position of power by doing your thing and playing your games, and I'll help you achieve any goal you want. Yeah, that's right. I've had it with this place. I've had it with being treated like the lower class. I was the God Damned Xtreme champion! I deserve a little respect! But Brandon "B Idiot" Cole, Mr. Respect himself, took my promo, and threw it in the trash because it scared him.

Going back briefly to the actual match, though, obviously Cole cheated to win that as well. He knew he couldn't beat me fairly. He easily could've gone to get his own weapon, and we could've had a brawl. But no, he stole mine instead. Now do you call that a fair fight? No, Jerryatrics. I say no! Bastard Cool is a fake! A fraud! A liar and a cheat! He doesn't deserve to be in upper management, and he doesn't deserve to be in a ring either! He's a disgrace to this world, and yes, even this universe! Hey, that's a great idea. Hey Kyla, if you're reading this, kill B Cool! He's an evil alien that wants to eat Ally's brain!

OK, I stepped away from the keyboard for a sec. I'm calmer now. But do you see, Jerryatrics? Do you see how controlled I keep myself as long as I can? How I don't always discuss the things you see in this column on Aggression? That's because the real cool one here is me, not Brandon with his stupid nickname. Ya know what, I'm stopping now. Getting all fired up again. Just read this, Jerryatrics, and know it to be the truth! Such is the word of Jerry!