Well hi there, Jerryatrics. I’m not an incredibly happy Jerry right now, but surely that will change… Eventually. Why am I not a happy Jerry? Well… We’ll get to that. Suffice it to say… No, I had better not rant in the first paragraph. So this is Jerry’s Jive. If I offend anyone, this’ll be a normal edition. If I outrage anyone, that’s hardly pushing it. Why am I writing these sentences? Because I’m stalling, of course. Alright, so let’s get into it, mostly cause I have no other choice. Let me tell you all just why I’m unhappy.

I HATE everything that’s going on right now. Seriously. It’s really messing with my head, and I don’t like it. Take Derek, for example. He beat up on Alan and Rachel just this past week. And ya know what? I cared. I hate women, and I cared that he was beating up on Rachel. And Alan too. But Rachel’s the woman in the equation, and should’ve removed all care from me, and I still cared. Was it the situation? Was it that Derek’s an awful person? Aaaaah! I hate it!

And then there’s the whole Xander thing, and the kidnapping things, and… Man. It’s just… It’s a difficult time for a Jerry right now. I don’t even know how to act around Bob. I’m kinda playing it by ear these days, and I hate playing things by ear. I’m supposed to be the guy who knows how to act. The guy who knows the way things are, and how they’re gonna go. And I don’t know that stuff right now, and… and it kinda sucks.

So I guess what this edition of the column is is an admission. An admission of my own vulnerability. No, you evil conniving women, don’t think you’ll be able to take advantage of that. I simply had to vent, and let my feelings out, and what better way to do it than this column? After all, the SWA doesn’t want to give me more airtime than I have on the shows. Something about how they’re worried I’ll say something that’ll get them in trouble… I don’t know. It’s all politics. And I’m totally babbling. God I hate things right now. Someone fix things! Come on! Hurry up!

I guess that’s it. What else is there to say? Well, a lot really, but then I’d be rambling again, and I don’t want to waste this column on that. Thanks for reading. Take this as you will, I guess.