Greetings, once again, my fellow Jerryatrics. Don't worry, don't worry, I'm a little calmer this time around. I'm not gonna fly off the handle. At least, I don't think so. Understand that I meant what I said before. I do hate this company now, for everything it's done to me, but I can deal with that. Anyway, this edition of Jerry's Jive is nothing more or less than an apology. But not to the company, oh no. To the Jerryatrics. See, I've been getting a lot of messages on my J-mail account. A lot of questions about something I happened to say this past week on Aggression. So now, I intend to address that. Clear the air, shall we say.

Ahem. I do still very much hate women. However, as some of you may have seen, I mentioned that Katie Williams was, well, a source of great heat, shall we say. And yeah, I know that's only true because she's trying to tempt all men with her woman powers and lure them into traps, but I said it. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. I slipped, and really it is unforgiveable. Yeah, she's got a nice little body, I won't deny it now that I've already said it, but I should be above such things, having been enlightened and all. Those words shall never escape my lips again, and if you're personally reading this, Katie, which I would be astonished if you were, just remember this. I didn't mean it. That should set your mind at ease.

So what else is there to talk about? Not really a lot, as it hasn't honestly been that long since the last time I wrote this column. Not much has changed. My offer to Damien still stands, though he has said nothing about it. Come on, man. I got connections. You could use a guy like me, even if that's in the most literal sense, which it probably is with you, but hey, at least I understand that, right? I would just love to strike back at this company, regardless of what you do to me afterward. I'm not attached to anyone. All I've got is me, and I've been through a lot as it is, and seen perhaps more. So come on, man. Jerry's here for ya. And hey, you could probably get Bob too, long as you promise him Kristen back. I'll bet that'd work in a jiffy, utterly stupid as Bob can be sometimes. I'm sure you know he still loves her. Oy.

Well, anyway, I've really got nothin else. Stuff needs to happen that's worth the attention of this column. That seriously only happens like once a month, and I'm not quite sure we're really even there yet this month. Had I not accidentally said what I did, we may not even have a Jerry's Jive. Ah well, I said it, and we have one. I hope you've enjoyed, my dear Jerryatrics, and I'll see ya next time.