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Hello again, Jerryatrics,
and welcome to the best
column the SWA has to offer.
The one thing you all look
forward to every single
month. The one thing you
just can’t wait to get your
hot little hands on, because
of how unbearably awesome it
is. It’s Jerry’s jive, and
it’s here. Now, you all know
that I discuss things that
are on the forefront of my
mind in this column, and
this edition is no
exception. This month, I
want to discuss my almost
constant disappointment.
I’ve been thinking about it,
and it really is an
interesting subject. Allow
me to explain.
The first thing to clarify
here is that this
disappointment of mine goes
beyond my own matches. I am
of course referring to my
disappointment in not yet
having beaten the Bread
Nonzombie in one on one
action, something which I
will someday rectify. This
disappointment of mine goes
far deeper. Every single
week, I make an honest,
genuine prediction for each
match, and even offer my
reasons why I picked that
person to win. But most
times, not even sometimes
but most times, I’m wrong.
How does that happen?
Shouldn’t these things be
fifty fifty shots, unless
there are more than two
people involved, or in some
cases two teams? Shouldn’t I
have just as good a chance
of being right as I do of
being wrong? My logic is
sound. Bob and Cal don’t
think so, but what do they
know? I’ve been the brains
of the operation for the
longest time, and yet I’m
wrong more often than not.
It’s frustrating! Ya know
what, though? I’ll bet
that’s why Bob and Cal don’t
always make predictions.
They’d be wrong even more
than I am already, and
they’re afraid of that. They
don’t want to be wrong. Poor
little guys.
Still, it even goes beyond
that. It even extends to my
interpretation of how people
are acting, or will act. For
this, I offer the example of
Katie Williams. A woman, who
by all rights should be
acting like the other women
in my life, proving my point
once again that they’re all
the same, and worth being
hated. And yet, she’s kind,
helpful, and a delight to be
around. I can’t hate her, no
matter how much I try. I can
still look upon any other
woman and grit my teeth in
anger, but she’s different.
I know, I’ve said that
before. It’s funny, though.
Writing this, and thinking
of it now, I’m not entirely
sure I can even look at that
as a disappointment. Should
I not be glad to be wrong?
Shouldn’t the fact that
Katie is proving that not
all women are evil make me
happy? I honestly don’t
know.
Anyway, I think I’ve ranted
enough. Maybe whatever
higher powers there are will
read this, and make me less
likely to be wrong in
future. One can hope, I
guess. And if that were to
happen, some supernatural
event like that, I’d be
perfectly OK with it as long
as it wasn’t Ally’s Great
Cleansing. Oy. That’s
another story entirely, and
perhaps another edition of
this column. So until next
time, Jerryatrics, do what I
say, cause then I’ll always
be right. |