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Well hello again, my
wonderful, beautiful,
fantastic Jerryatrics. I
know it is a difficult thing
to use a tone of smug
satisfaction in writing, but
I would like to endeavor to
do just that. You see,
Jerryatrics, I rule. No, I
guess more accurately, Katie
Williams rules, but I'd like
to think I rule just a
little bit. You see,
something has happened.
Something both wonderful,
and terrible to anyone that
might consider themselves a
Jerry hater. Something that
Katie Williams helped
arrange. The best thing, in
fact, that has happened to
the SWA in quite some time.
Perhaps, my Jerryatrics, you
are waiting for me to
elaborate. Oh don't worry, I
will.
Over the past couple of
months, this column has
consisted of a whole lot of
anger and frustration. Anger
at what had been done to my
job, and frustration that I
was trying so hard to show
that I care for this
company, and to keep caring
for it despite what they
were doing, and it wasn't
being noticed. OK, OK, I
acknowledge that the anger
part may've been out there a
bit more, but I swear, it's
there. After all, I did
issue this company an
apology for snapping at
them. Anyway, I'm starting
to wander off topic. Let's
get to why I can be so smug.
I guess there are only so
many ways one can dodge
around a point like this
one, so honestly the best
thing to do is just make it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jerryatrics and friends, SWA
viewers of all races,
creeds, and sexual
orientations, Jerry Sheppard
is back. You may be asking,
"But what do you mean? You
never really left!" To that,
I answer simply, "No no no,
friend. I'm back on
commentary!" Yeah, that's
right, folks, Jerry Sheppard
is taking his old place at
the announce position! I get
to do again what I know I do
better than anybody else in
existence! And which of the
Bob and Cal crew is leaving?
Why neither of them! That's
right, it's time for the
SWA's first 3-man announce
team! What does that mean
for me? Competition? No. It
just means I get to trump
two guys every week instead
of one!
Now, you may also be asking
about Bob. How will he
react? What's my reaction to
having to work with him
again? I don't know how
he'll react, but I don't
really care much. As for my
reaction, well, it'll be the
same as always. I get to
make more jokes, and he has
to take them. He has to,
because it's his job to take
them. Oh lord, I love being
a color commentator!
So there it is, my
fantastic, adoring
Jerryatrics. There's the big
news, and there is why I'm
so insanely smug. I won out
in the end, something I
never expected to do. I owe
Katie Williams a lot for
this, so please, don't ask
for or expect jokes about
her. You're not gonna get
them. Oh, one last thing.
Wanna know when I'm coming
back? Wanna know exactly
when this glorious day is
going to happen? I'll tell
you. Next Sunday,
Jerryatrics. Bloodsport.
Life could not be more
perfect. Until next time. I
have some serious
celebrating to do. |