“Comatose” by Skillet hits as we pan in on Mieke Janssen in the traveling Wristlock studio. We have our usual setup, and she’s dressed professionally as usual. As the music fades out, she smiles slightly before clearing her throat and beginning to speak.

Mieke: Welcome to the Wristlock once again everyone.  Before I get into the review of this past Edge, I’ve got something to get off my chest that’s been bugging me. What the hell was up with that mystery wrestler vignette several weeks back?  There’s been no follow up to it whatsoever. Was this all just some joke from some wrestler who felt like messing with people and getting them talking? Was there a falling out that led to him not making his scheduled debut? Did he get bored, change his mind, and decide “Nah, I don’t want to be part of the solution now after all”? Was he struck with a case of the plague? Enquiring minds want to know.  Of course, it’s not like we should have had our hopes too high to begin with. The last wrestlers to have vignettes leading up to their debut, or return, were the Wicked Clowns in their ill fated comeback to the SWA, and Dominic McManus who up to this point hasn’t shown he can get any serious momentum going for himself.

Shrugging her shoulders, she moves on not seeming to be that worried about the matter any longer.

Mieke: Last Edge opened with the poetry thing, Sherman was all fired up, Christian wasn’t happy, Angel was taunting him, whatever. All very predictable really, although I didn’t think Sherman would go as far as to try and rap. Really, nothing should surprise me by this point with him though. Sherman ended up winning of course, Angel and her stupid little dog she had out there with her ended up “rewarding” him with a match with Ally Daniels that I’m guessing will have some sort of twist added to it. Honestly, we all know she would have found a way to set that up and torment Ally anyways. She harassed Christian some more, and all I really take out of this is the fact that Sherman’s ego is likely to swell about ten times in size following all of that. A frightening prospect I know, but it seems inevitable.

It was quite obvious through the almost pained look on her face that she was practically forcing herself to recap that train wreck of a segment.

Mieke: Okay, JR kicked Sawyer’s ass in quick fashion and grabbed the stupid box. It’s not worth recapping what was inside, because it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters from this is that Sawyer showed a complete lack of testicles by not promoting his match. It’s one thing not to care about the box, but JR came at him with some damn personal insults and accusations. And Sawyer just bent over and took it up the ass, much like he ended up doing in their match. Afterwards we had the Xtreme Rules match, and the new girl kick McGoldrick’s ass in about a minute. An impressive debut for the debuting Ms. South for sure, but just as big a story has to be the decline of McGoldrick who seriously needs to get his head in the game.  Not to take anything away from her though, she showed a real mean streak and didn’t let him make a match of it.

Reaching over, she takes a sip from her water bottle before setting it back down.

Mieke:  Royal and Behemoth disposed of Team Swiss in quite impressive fashion as well, which will certainly help build chemistry for them. They’ll need it too, as Fading Aces went to the Commissioner and managed to successfully lobby for a match with the #1 contenders status on the line. One might question how fair this is to Behemoth and Royal, but at least they were upset about how the last #1 contenders match played out because you know …. They actually wanted the tag belts. Unlike Team Swiss, who decided to bitch and moan for no reason. Those two seriously need to get their act together, as they don’t seem to have a clue what they want to do with themselves. If they keep stumbling around like this, and destroying their own credibility they’re going to have serious problems. More than they already are currently. In a case like this, you’d used to be able to say send them to the STC. Of course we don’t have one now, so I guess the next step would be the unemployment line. And finally, in the Main Event, Stephanie managed to make Arik bleed to secure an Xtreme Title match against Gidget. For someone without a ton of experience in that type of environment, she fared very well for herself and certainly seems to have bounced back strongly from her Anarchy Title loss with her recent performances. Arik, well he’s got a lot of work to do in order to show that his win over Behemoth wasn’t a fluke. Now, let’s take a look ahead to this week’s Edge.

The Edge logo flashes across the screen followed by a graphic for Peter Blizzard vs. Sawyer Psychotic.

Mieke: Imagine that, a normal one on one wrestling match; what a novel concept that is. I’ll have to take the former Calypso to pick up the win here. I don’t know where Sawyer’s head is at, and I think he’ll  need all of his unbridled aggression if he wants to be able to stop Peter. This may be different for him without a manager to tell him what to do, but on the flip side this means there’s nobody clouding Peter’s head. He can simply focus on plowing through the opponent ahead of him.

The next graphic is for the Traditional Swiss Wrestling Match between Legion and Arik Taylor.

Mieke: Let’s be realistic, it’s hard to intelligently pick a winner here. Neither have a great record, the stipulation is wacky, you get the picture.  I guess I’ll go with Legion since from what I understand of it, his power edge should come into play.

Following that we see a graphic for the Elimination First Blood Spork Duel of Ally Daniels and Riz vs. Team Swiss.

Mieke: And another odd one, you have to wonder if Team Swiss is going to have the confidence to succeed at anything right about now. They’ve been getting beaten down and humiliated pretty badly. Despite them being on fairly good terms, there are some questions about the Riz and Ally team but I doubt it will really matter here.  They’re both strong competitors and should take care of business here, sporks or no sporks.

We then see a graphic for the Alex Shade vs. Dominic McManus Mystery Box On A Pole Match.

Mieke: I don’t see Dominic’s success from Altitude continuing here, Alex I think does approach each opportunity with a great hunger and will manage to keep his hot streak going. Dominic I’m still waiting to see what his mindset will be now that he’s finally won a match. I know I’m not going out on a limb with a lot of these picks, but it seems pretty straightforward. I don’t see anything of consequence being inside the box, so I’m sure Angel will make the prize worthwhile now just to spite me.

Finally we see a graphic for the Brandon Cole vs. Royal Delange 2 out of 3 Falls Match.

Mieke: I see experience winning out here in this one, although I do think Royal manages to take one fall. It’s not just the fact that he’s battle tested and should be able to adapt his strategy as the match goes on here. There’s also the fact that Brandon has shown he has great endurance, something yet to be tested with Royal. So with that said, let’s dive into the mailbag.

Grabbing her list of questions, she begins reading.        

Mieke: Tim, from Oakland wants to know who I think the rising star of the SWA is, saying he and his friend have been debating whether it’s Kurt Mountain or Arik Taylor. There’s some more to it, but I think you get the picture of what kind of “compliments” were in there. Well, if we’re going to play that game, I’d have to say it would be neither of them. Obviously the answer is either Dominic McManus, or JR … you can tell there’s a bunch of hidden potential behind their boatload of losses, just waiting to unleash itself.

With a slight smirk she looks at her next question.

Mieke: And our other one comes from Al, in Houston. He wants to know whether I think we’ll ever see Tsuyoshi Dai return to the SWA. I personally hope not, but never say never here. He was in my view one of the worst World Champions of all time but I’m not the one calling the shots. If by some off chance we got the Dai from before he won the title than I suppose it would be worth the time, but somehow I don’t see him ever rededicating himself to that degree. Well, that’s it for this week, you know the routine by now, see you next time.

“Comatose” hits again as we slowly fade to the SWA Logo and then to black.