The Wristlock logo fades onto the screen "Stuff is messed up" by The Offspring plays. The camera pans down from the rafters to a chair that was spinning around. It comes to a stop with Sirus Shade facing the camera.

Sirus: it finally happened you gaped mouth jerks. I'm finally booked for another match!! I was getting bored, Ya know. Here I was spending my days watching "happy days". When im forced to sit there and watch rerun after rerun. I'M NOT HAVING HAPPY DAY.  So anyhow I'm placed in a match with Ian Manson. Local nut job....Actually the SWA is full of nut jobs. Where the hell does Crystal find these guys? The pound? Seriously. I mean we have a lot of guys here with a few screws loose. Ian Manson. A guy who is missing a few straps on his Straight jacket.As far as bargin bin wackos go he is the cream of the crap.. I mean crop. I always get those confused Hell Chucky scares the crap out of me more then this lumbering jerk who has a bruised cantaloupe for a brain. Always hated those 'My little buddy' toys. Then we have Nick Saber three prominent personalities, Who have embodied masks by some satanic ritual. OHHHH scary shit.

He just rolls his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose.

Sirus: I'm placing a 5 to 1 bet right now that those masks even have multiple personalities too. Although I will have to say that Shadow is my favorite. Its that deep chuckle. I can't help it when he laughs I laugh too. Then we go back a little bit and we had Razor. You know "cut cut". I never had the pleasure of meeting this girl and I'm thankful for it. I think I would have slapped the taste out of her mouth.  I don't condone woman beating but nothing says "Smarten the F**K up" like a good solid backhand. Full grown woman, voice of a child.... Yeah. definitely something wrong there. Remind me to send a thank you card to Crystal for tucking her away. Then we have my brother Larell, Who was pretty much the bitch in his relationship with his other personality. Then again he always was. I beat his ass for years. Jessica had him whipped. Azell always had control. Mind you not all the time physical but still. He made Larell his prison bitch and Kelly... Pfft that girl just batted her eyelashes at him and he was tied around her little finger but they aren't exactly on speaking terms. You know his ass laying in a bed and Kelly...Well.. Kelly is taking in some good R&R time. Now I know your all thinking Izzy Omega belongs in here but that's something totally different. His is more of a personal conflict. Not personality. Just a classic right and wrong dilemma. Then we only have a handful of "normal" people who actually managed to keep their brain pans intact to do this sport. Then again if you rewind a lot of the history and look at some of the matches that they agreed to or came up with, you still question their mental state. Alan Drake: flaming tables match, Aquiro: Nailed to a set of 2 by 4's, 'Main Event' Rage: Blindfolded for a match. The list goes on and on. I'm starting to think I'm the only one here with his head screwed on straight.

He then picks up a clipboard and flips through a couple pages.

Sirus: But hey, The SWA does flesh out the roster some. We have a wide range of people in all sorts of shapes and sizes. To a bug hulking red wood of a man Behemoth to a branch that would stick off of it like "Long Horn" Reynolds. I could pick the shit out of most of the roster here. In fact I'm just going to keep doing that. 'Long Horn' Reynolds? Seriously? Where did you find him Crystal? A Truck stop? Napping next to his 18 wheeler with his blood hound bud or rearranging his mud flaps that say 'EVERTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS!'. If his parents actually named him that then they spent way to much time out in the sun branding cattle. Charlie the Bloody? I heard of a Bloody Mary before. What's his whole gimmick? He doesn't get paid until he bleeds or what? Or maybe he is just some Charlie Brown look alike. He just got revenge for Lucy pulling out the football from under him all the time? Where the hell do these people get their names from? Do they draw them out of a hat? Todd O'Hara. Been done. Jimmy Spade. Too easy. Ebony Nightfur. There's a girl whose head hit the headboard to many times. Hugh Heffner's belt doesn't have as many notches if you know what I mean. The word 'No' to this girl on exists before smoking. Nick Saber. A near miss when swung at by a Jedi. If you don't get that, THEN READ A BOOK! Come on people how do you expect to taken seriously with names like these.

Sirus then impersonates someone's voice at a very odd tone in a mocking manner.

Sirus: Eminem...Slim Shady... because you name is SHADE. HEHEHEHEH.

He looks at the camera and flips it off.

Sirus: TRY SOMETHING ORIGINAL. Pfft. Like that's really an insult and takes way to much thought behind it to make it worth while. See they way you work it is like what I said about 'Longhorn' Reynolds. IF you didn't get that then here's the dumbed down version. I called him a big dumb Texas truck driver. Is it funny now for you.... Oh I'll just wait here until your done laughing and hope you choke on your cheetos....... Done? Good.

He sits back into his chair and regains some of his composer.

Sirus: Then we have Devi & Drako Lumanatra. Crystal. I know they are alot of fun but please for the love of god stop going to comicon's and picking up people in the Buffy fan lines. Then we have B. Cool..... I seen that name on the ends of my paycheck so I will leave that one alone. Just wouldn't B.Cool if I made fun of him. Now that's the type of a bad pun that just wants to make you cry. Is there more then one Rivers? Oh for the love of... Don't tell me Shane is another escapee? Some one get my my tranq gun, Its freak hunting season. I'm gonna weed out the whole lot of them and throw them in Rivers. If the SWA is pumping out money to support these idiots who aren't fit for public service then why not support Deathrow Gladiators? Speaking of Gladiators what the hell is up with the name Ravnos? A leisure business man with the name of someone I could very well see in a lions pit? Is one of those Geico cave men or some shit? Please don't give him a sitcom. Yeah there would be a great pair Ravnos and Scott Sage. A gladiator and what seems to be a wizard.  Then they can go dancing around the forest and all their little hobbit friends. Well I could carry on like this but hey I got to save something for next week right. Then lord knows who I'll make fun of then. So this is Sirus Shade telling you 'Shit is Fucked up'. Mostly our roster.

The wristlock logo fades onto the screen as "Stuff is messed up" by the Offspring continues to play.