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“Burn It Down” By Five
Finger Death Punch begins to
play as the traveling
Wristlock studio is brought
to life. As the lights go
up we see Wristlock host
Simon Kayne sitting next to
guest co-host for this week,
None other than Roach.
There is a cooler sitting
between the two big chairs,
presumably filled with
beers. As the music dies
the camera zooms in on the
two hosts.
Simon Kayne: Welcome to
another addition of The
Wristlock. I am your host
and with me tonight is the
official new co host of
Wristlock, Roach.
Roach: Good to finally have
a secure spot on the show.
So Simon, we've had an
interesting week haven't we.
Simon sighs.
Simon: Yeah well hey, I
didn’t end Izzy’s career but
you know what, that is ok.
That just means we can watch
him chase ghosts and pretend
to be everyone’s best
friend. Kissing everyone’s
ass. But hey you and I get
to tag up and get in the
ring with him after what
went down at Aggression
tonight.
Roach: It's ok Tiger, we
can't all be undefeated in
singles action. But you're
right, we both get a chance
to put Izzy in his place
this week, sure you two may
have settled everything
after he made you say 'I
Quit', but I've still got a
beef with him that will be
settled this week.
Simon: As far as I am
concerned nothing is ever
settled with him. It is one
of those things that will
linger on and on. Speaking
of Aggression, how do you
think things went during our
match this week?
Simon smirks
Roach: Well I'm glad you
brought that up, Simon.
He pauses a moment, grabbing
himself a beer and popping
it open.
Roach: I think we gave those
fans out there exactly what
they wanted to see. I think
we can sit back and be proud
of everything we
accomplished there.
Simon: It was a hell of a
night and as soon as that
little vampire does his
little trickery and floats
in here we will get Thomas
Von Karstein’s thoughts on
exactly what went down.
Roach: Well you know what,
before he gets his sorry ass
out here I think we have to
address something here. It
seems like there was at
least one person who didn't
appreciate our match, of
course I am talking about
our new SWA Commissioner,
Ally Daniels. Did you happen
to hear what she had to say
about it, Simon?
Simon: No I did not,
enlighten me.
Roach: Well to sum it up for
you, apparently you and I
are nothing more a couple of
cowards, afraid to fight
each other. Apparently she
did not grasp the depth of
what we where doing out
there, and she has even gone
so far as to make a match
for the upcoming
pay-per-view to 'show us how
it's done.' Surprised you
haven't heard about this,
Simon.
Simon: I tried watching some
announcement she was trying
to make but I think she
forgot to take her medicine
and was all over the place,
so I shut if off.
Roach: Can't blame you
there. So anyway, apparently
she thinks that just because
she's a dyke with a fish
fetish you and I must be in
a relationship too. You
know, I thought we had
gotten rid of our delusional
commissioner, I guess they
just traded one for another.
Simon: So what is the big
match she made?
Roach: She's putting her
little girlfriend in a match
against... herself. That's
right folks, we get to see a
domestic disturbance between
two candidates for dykes on
bikes.
Simon: Maybe that is just
foreplay for them?
Roach: Must be, hey if they
want to beat the hell out of
each other for no damn
reason that's their own
business. I just don't see
why the rest of us have to
suffer through that boredom.
Simon: It will be like
watching a train wreck. You
know you shouldn’t but you
just have to. I mean you
got a spaz versus retard to
say it bluntly. Neither one
of them have anything
upstairs.
Roach: Ya know, I don't want
to waste our time talking
about our waste of space in
management. So where the
hell is Thomas? Tell him to
get his deep fried bat ass
out here already.
Simon: Do we need to invite
him in so we can’t use
anything against him like in
the Lost Boys?
Roach: Sure, we can make him
claw his own eyes out by
making him watch the sequel.
Simon: Yeah that was bad.
The only good part was at
the end and Corey Haim was a
vampire. Oh did I ruin
that?
Roach: Simon, there is no
good part about Corey Haim.
Simon: Licence to Drive was
pretty good.
Roach just kind of looks at
Simon for a moment in
silence before slowly
reaching over and lightly
slapping his cheek.
Roach: No... Come on Thomas,
time to get out here.
Suddenly a enormous swarm of
real bats consulates on the
chair reserved for Karstein.
For a moment they obscure it
completely screeching and
flapping in total chaos.
Then they vanish upwards
into the ceiling. On the
chair now sits Thoms von
Karstein. He wears his usual
Victorian attires. He nods
respectful although his
expression seems rather
annoyed.
Thomas: Gentleman.
He has his hands folded and
waits for there questions.
Simon: Hello Thomas, did you
enjoy Aggression this week?
He smirks sarcastically.
Thomas: Depends if you
define getting knocked out
as enjoyment. Vitch I do
not. But still I thank you
for the invitation.
Roach: Yeah well your dumb
ass had it coming anyway. So
now you're finally on the
show, what is it you want to
say? Oh wait... we can't
have people falling asleep
on us, what is this, Get
Over It? Which is,
incidentally, the perfect
time for you guys to take a
bathroom break out there.
Anyway, Mr. Von Kratsenburg,
you have been a thorn in
many a side since you
arrived.
Thomas: That ist true.
Roach: Really? I drop all
that on you and all you can
do is agree with everything?
Wow, you're more of a sap
than I originally thought.
Simon: Now the real question
that is on everyone's mind
is following the gauntlet
match last week, were
everyone took shots at Izzy
Omega, How are you going to
be able to co exist with him
on Edge?
He shrugs.
Thomas: Vell I vas thorn in
many sides. Intentional or
unintentionally. Vhat ist
there to deny about?
And I think I can coexist
vith Izzy Omega. Ve both
have the same enemies in
this match and it ist not
like I hate him or anything.
Sure he might not be my
favored person on the roster
but I have no lasting grudge
against him at the moment.
And since he is a
professional I see no
problem in vorking
together.
Roach takes a drink from the
beer bottle he's holding,
eyeing Thomas.
Roach: Say the word 'well'
Karstein roles his eyes.
Thomas: You vant to
interview me or make fun of
my accent like a little
child?
Roach: I think it's an
honest request here.
Thomas: That does not
surprise me. Very vell, I
oblige. "Vell"
Roach: No, no, 'well'.
Karstein just shakes his
head.
Simon: So being of German
descent., are you a big
David Hasselhoff fan. I
here he is huge over there.
Looking puzzled Karstein
asks.
Thomas: Vho?
Roach: Yeah, Vohoo?
Karstein gives Roach a
annoyed look.
Thomas: No I do not know
him. But then I am not
really in that since a
German. I am older than
that.
Simon: What the bloody hell
does that mean?
Thomas: I am from that
region but I vas born during
the time of the roman
empire. Long before the
countries of today vhere
created. So I am not a
German in that since. I am a
germanic tribes man to be
correct.
Roach: So does that mean you
walk around carrying germs?
Thomas: Not more than any
person. I think I vould be
more of a carrier because of
my nature than on my
descendants. No Germanic vas
the old roman vord for our
tribes. It evolved in to the
vord German over time.
Simon: So did you know
Caesar?
Roach: Caesar Milan, The Dog
Whisperer?
Simon: As in Julius?
Thomas: Not personally.
Roach: That's a shame, you
should see what he can do
with a Shitzu. So anyway,
you've got a nice big match
coming up don't you. I
suppose you could really say
that you have two.
Thomas: Yes indeed. You
could say that. And to be
honest I can hardly vait for
both of them to arrive.
Roach: Well putting ours
aside, what do you have
planned for your final
meeting with Reynolds? I'm
sure he's working Raven nice
and hard right now gearing
up for it.
Karstein smirks at that
comment. He seems not phased
by it like he was before.
Thomas: Vell I planned to
beat him. To finally settle
things between the two of us
once and for all! And you
should really try some other
cheap shots there Roach. Not
vorking.
Roach: Cheap shots? I was
just speaking the truth.
I've personally seen the two
of them together, such a
cute couple of slave and
master.
Thomas laughs.
Simon: If you don’t think
Reynolds is not trying
anything Thomas you are in a
different world.
Thomas: Yes Reynolds voud
make a nice slave. And I am
sure he ist trying
something. But I trust
Raven.
Roach: Wow, way to twist
things around, I'm proud of
you, Thomas.
Thomas just smirks at him.
Simon: You may trust Raven
but can you trust Reynolds.
He may just take what he
wants..
Thomas: I am aware of this
fact. Better than most
others are Simon. If you
vhere to busy to follow all
the happenings. But I am not
giving in to Reynolds.
Believe me I am prepared for
him.
Roach: You always think you
are ready and you still get
your ass handed to you.
Thomas: Just vait and see.
His tone and his eyes leave
no doubt about his
seriousness.
Roach: You know what,
Thomas, you always try to
act as if nothing phases
you, then on the other hand
the minor little thing can
reduce you to tears. What
the hell? How about a little
stability here.
Simon: The man is thousands
of years old. He is senile
Thomas laughs at that. In
plain amusement.
Thomas: Not senile but I am
not a human Roach. I could
now try to explain to you
vhat it means to be a
vampire especially for your
emotions. But I think it
vould only be vasted effort.
Roach: I agree, no one wants
to hear about your
delusions. So let me ask you
this then. You got your ass
knocked out by us once, what
makes you think it wont
happen again?
Thomas (with a smirk):
Confidence. Skill. Knowing.
Different Situation. Tag
Partner. Missing element of
surprise. There are multiple
reasons you can choose your
favored.
Simon: So you are relying on
your tag partner then?
Thomas: Since he beat you.
Vhy should I not? But then I
am also capable on my own.
Ve are a team of two
vrestlers both capable. No
matter if you agree or not.
Roach: So you don't have any
problem with teaming up with
one of the biggest, most
notorious back stabbers in
this business.
Thomas: At this point. No.
Roach: Huh, interesting
logic there, Thomas. Just
hate to see you go out like
that.
Thomas: Do not vorry Roach.
I make sure you go vith me.
At least I vould be villing
to fight Izzy at any point.
Not like you two vho are to
scared to face each other in
a normal match.
Roach laughs, shaking his
head.
Roach: And obviously that
just flew right over your
head. We know you'd fight
Izzy, you proved that in the
gauntlet. What we did was
show everyone that we are on
the same page. So what's
wrong with that?
Thomas Shrugs.
Thomas: Nothing I guess.
Depends on everybody's view.
Like a lot of things.
Simon: Well I think we will
wrap this up before things
get to heated here. I would
not want anyone else walking
out of the Wristlock. Any
final words Thomas.
Roach nods, reaching down
behind the cooler and
picking up a freshly baked
loaf of all natural garlic
bread, ripping off a piece
as he eats, listening to
Thomas' final words.
Karstein looks disgusted at
the bread as if the smell
would caus him some form of
displeasure.
Thomas: Thank you for having
me on the show and I hope
you are ready for Edge. Good
evening gentleman.
With that the swarm of bat
returns and conceals him
again. Then they swarm away
and he is gone.
Simon: Wow did not even let
us say good bye or wish him
luck. How fucking rude.
Roach shrugs.
Roach: Never trust a man who
turns down some Garlic
bread.
Simon: Very true. Well that
will do it for Wristlock I
am Simon Kayne and this is
Roach. A big thanks to
Thomas for showing up
tonight. And for you
insomniacs out there make
sure you check out Get Over
It, it is enough to put
anyone asleep.
The scene fades out. |