The music turns on. The Offspring- Stuff is messed up plays. The Wristlock logo comes on to the screen. It starts to violently shake and then explodes. The screen turns to static. Then a midget fighting a full sized man, a spider monkey just sitting there, and the house being blown apart from the A-bomb tests. “PUNKZ TV” flashes across the screen, covering the chest of a young woman flashing herself to the camera. “Starring” scrolls up the screen as a clip plays. “AQUIRO”, Aquiro wearing a WWII army helmet, combat boots, and boxers, playing golf on the roof of a building. “LARELL”, a car trunk lid opening to reveal Larell, tied and gagged. “GLACIER”, Glacier with a gaggle of women under his arms as he gives the camera two thumbs up, a sparkle gleams from his teeth. “TOMMY SINADA”, Sinada taking a spill out of a second story window, rolling down the roof and freeze-framing for a second, his face wrenched in horror before speeding back up as he plummets past the camera. “STEVEN DOUCET”, Steven in a bathrobe, handing over a wad of cash to a police officer with the other four in the background, in handcuffs and without pants. Clips keep playing of our heroes adventures as an announcer comes over the P.A. The screen turns to static once again. Then slowly starts to regain focus. The camera zooms in on Larell sitting in a chair with his feet on the table. He lifts his head and from under his bucket hat a smile appears. He locks his eyes on the camera.

Larell: Welcome to PUNKZ TV. A great time slot well wasted. Don't touch that dial. We have taken over your T.V., Every Channel! And yes Bill Mandoza, Of New York, New York. Who resides in 391 West Grove ave. Even the Playboy channel. Well not all channels not the women's network, Who watches that?..... You changed the channel just to find out didn't you? Now your wondering how we are doing this huh? Well after spending the entire last months budget that was saved up and some downloading on the Internet. We have created our very own little channel to bring you LIVE the very first episode and definitely not the last of PUNKZ TV.

The faces of the punkz Flash across the screen in a quick motion.

Larell: Now we are all here. Steve is our camera man.

The camera bobs up and down in a 'yes' motion.

Larell: Glacier is our Voice in the sky and our Graphics man.

Glacier: Don't drag me into this.

Larell lets out a little laugh and the words form across the bottom of the screen 'ASS' and arrows point to Larell and then are wiped away a moment later.

Larell: And we have Sinada and Aquiro around still but we didn't have any jobs around here so guess what? WE LET THEM HAVE THEIR SAY IN THEIR OWN LITTLE SEGMENT!!! So we had a great vibrant show all line up for you......

He then throws a stack of cards behind him and the scatter all over.

Larell: But we decided to say screw that and wing it. That way its a lot more interesting and a lot harder to censor. No that has really peaked your interest huh? Well then lets get to our first segment of the day. Glacier do you thing up there.

The screen flashes to a picture of Tommy Sinada with his arms crossed. Suddenly a cartoon chefs hat and apron appear on him with a counter top in front of him. In bright colorful letters. 'In the kitchen with Sinada' appears.

The camera then turns to Sinada in a restaurant.

Sinada: Hello Punk and Punkettes. Tommy Sinada reporting from 'Wichcraft a very nice subtle little restaurant in Las Vegas with owner and head chef Tom Colichio. Thanks for having us Tom.

Tom: Not a problem. Its great to have some of the SWA superstars visit us.

Sinada: Yeah....Great....for now.

Tom: What!?

Sinada: Nothing......Seriously nothing.... So Tom how about showing us your kitchen so we can get started.

The film speeds up as Tom leads Sinada into the kitchen. Tommy makes eyes at the waitress and enters the back. He shakes hands with some of the staff and puts on his hat and apron. Which on it proudly proclaimed. 100% pure beef with and arrow pointing down. The film returns to its normal pace.

Sinada: Okay Now what I am about to do here is a family recipe. Called 'Sinada Soup' My mammy use to make this for me when I was not higher then the neck of a beer bottle. Now first what you folks at home need. Is a pot. Then take the pot and place it infront of you. Then you go to your Liquor cabinet and...

Tom: What are you making? Hey I'm not sure if this is right for my....

Sinada: Aw come on Tom you share the same name as me. I didn't think you were gonna be this up tight. Come on be cool.

He wraps his arm around Toms shoulder and pulls him close.

Sinada: Come on you cool?

Tom just slightly nods and shrugs.

Tom: Yeah I'm cool.

Sinada: That's my boy.

He gives tom chin a little nudge with his knuckles lightly and smiles.

Sinada: Okay so you go to you liquor cabinet and grab your favorite stuff.

Sinada pulls up a duffle bag that clinks as it hits the counter and he reaches in.

Sinada: Like my personal favorites. Kieth's beer. You can't have a good Sinada soup with out the good stuff.

He opens it up takes a drink and pours it in.

Sinada: Then we take some sake, Captain Morgan Black rum. A squeeze of lemon. Then some Canadian club whiskey. A good dose of Tabasco sauce to mix all the flavors together.

He pours a bit of every bottle in the pot.

Sinada: Now don't be afraid to get creative on your own. Toss in what ever you like. Me, I like to toss in a secret family ingredient. Sinada family's very own private stock of Sinada Shine!

Tom looks at him.

Sinada: WHAT?!

Tom: Everything is named after you?

Sinada: My family are kitchen guru's were just not that creative when it comes to naming things.

He continues and pulls out a large jug with XXX+X written on it. Also has a picture of his face giving the thumbs up on it too.

Sinada: Now once you have all of these mixed together, You will then want to set it over a low heat for about a half an hour and stir occasionally. Myself on the other hand like it raw.

He picks up the pot and takes a large drink.

Sinada: That will take the grease of a monkey. WOOOO. Here Tom try this.

Tom raises his hands and shakes his head 'no'.

Sinada: Come on Tom. Your cool! Be cool! Be cool like B.COOL!

Tom still shakes his head no.

Sinada: Fine bitch out. WHO WANTS SOME.

One of the staff raises his hands and steps forward. A guy with dreadlocks tied back and with a hairnet on and tattoos up his arms.

Sinada: I like you already. Here try this.

He hands the pot over to the guy and he takes a drink. Once he finishes he lowers it and looks at Sinada and licks his lips with satisfaction.

Sinada: That's my boy.

He pats the guy on the back and then his cheeks balloon out and he takes off.

Sinada: Damn and there was hope for him too... WELL... Thats all I have for you folks today. Join me next week and I will show you how to make vodkacicles.

With a small wave and the camera fades out. And comes back to Larell sitting at his desk.

Larell: DAMN there isn't nothing like a little home cooking isn't there folks? Thank you Sinada for that mouth watering little dish.

Glacier: That's just sick.

Larell: Hey I'm willing to try anything once. Wont you?

Glacier: No...

Larell: What about you Steve?

The camera shakes back and forth.

Larell: You guys suck. Oh well that means more for me.

Glacier: WHAT?

Larell: Sinada made me a special little batch before he left and well, hell I thought I would try it out too on TV.

Larell pulls out a mason jar and unscrews the lid. He raises it up to the camera in a cheers motion. He drinks it down until its empty. He then licks his lips and shrugs looking at the jar.

Larell: Wasn't to bad. Burns a little but not bad.

He looks at the camera for a moment incomplacent. The his face gets a look of horror on it.

Larell: COMMERCIAL. GO TO COMMERCIAL.

Before the camera clicked off Larell is seen ducking under the desk.

--commercial break--

The camera comes back and Larell is wiping his mouth with paper towel.

Larell: Okay... and...and..

He pats his chest and lets out a low burp.

Larell: Okay and were back. Now I have coming up a live webcast interview with Dirk Daring And Billy Bitchin'. Those guys... oops sorry.

Couldn't read the telecaster. Those 80'S GUYS.

A small TV comes from out of the desk and Larell turns his chair towards it. The TV turns on and its a still photo of the boys with rather odd looking mouths.

Larell: Welcome to the show guys, Thanks for coming.

Dirk: WOOOOOO IM ON TV IN A TV.

Billy: HI FOSTER MOMS.

Larell: And now that the shout outs are over. Down to business. How are you guys doing?

Dirk: CONFLICTED.

Billy: And confused.

both: AND HUNGRY.

Larell: Sorry to hear that guys. But where are you?

Dirk: In our bitchin' van. We scored this when we signed on to the SWA.

Billy: WOOOOOO WSA.

Dirk: You mean SWA.

Billy: No.. WSA.

Dirk: What?

Billy: We Seem Adult.

Larell: You guys didn't happen to buy a '86 matte black Astro van did you?

Billy: Yeah why?

Larell: Because that use to be mine.

Both: Dude. SWEET.

Larell: uh yeah....there was some stuff in there....well... why did you think it sold so cheap?

Dirk: Uh.....

Billy: I thought those brownies were complimentary?

Larell: I had brownies in there? Still?

Both: Uh oh....

Larell: Well before anything happens to you guys. How about your upcoming match with Aquiro and Sinada?

Dirk: Confident

Billy: And confused.

Larell: Why?

Billy: What's a Sinada anyhow?

Larell: About a 5 foot 7 drunk white male.

Dirk: Then which ones Aquiro?

Larell: The Blonde guy.

Dirk: Oh shit those guys?

Billy: Then who did we make the promo's against?

Larell: I dunno. You tell me.

Dirk: Oh man we are in crap!!!

Billy: DUDE I'm freaking out?!

Dirk: Dude calm down.

Billy: Why calm down!! Your not freaking out enough.

Dirk: We can still take them.

Billy: How do you know?

Dirk: Because we are that BEWITCHING!!

The camera cuts out and goes to static.

Larell: Uh.... sorry folks we seem to have lost our feed. Best luck to you both though guys. I'm pulling for ya. Next up a segment with a Aquiro.

But first a small commercial break from our favorite drink. POWERTHIRST. MENERGY. THE SPORTS DRINK FOR MEN.

--commercail break.--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

Larell: And we are back. Here I have with me is AQUIRO....Hold for applause....

Canned applause are heard and the camera pans back to show Aquiro sitting next to him.

Larell: So Aquiro. I haven't had the chance to talk to you for the last few days. So tell us what is your segment is about.

Aquiro: Well there's no rhyme or reason to my segment.

Larell: Like most things we do.

Aquiro: Exactly. So my segment is about what I do best.

Larell: So your going to give us some tips and tricks in the ring?

Aquiro: Nope. Even better. I went out onto the street with a camera and shown people what I do.

Larell: Great! Lets roll the film.

Music starts to play. Its 'You gonna go far kid' by the offspring. A small warning appears on the screen. 'These following stunts were set up by the friends and family of the......Participant. Please DO not TRY THIS AT HOME. However if you must please punch responsibly.' The music continue to play the entire time through the video. Welcome to Aq-Cam.

Aquiro is sitting outside of a bus stop with a news paper in his face. A man walks by and He looks at a photo. He shakes his head. A second man walks by with his girlfriend and looks at the bus stop schedule. He nods his head and looks at the schedule too. The man recognizes him and he shakes Aquiro's hand. The girl takes a photo of the too. As the camera flashes he punches the guy in the cheek. The guy hits the ground and the girlfriends fakes to be shocked. The guy gets up in a fury and is ready to fight back. Aquiro throws his a shirt and points to the camera behind them. The guy rubs his jaw wondering what the hell happened while his girlfriend laughs.

The scene changes. Two guys are walking down the street and give some money to a blind man with a sign. The blind man trips on of the males with his stick and the guy just looks back. The blind man just follow behind them and gives the male he tripped a rather harder hit with it on the back of his leg. The male gets mad and starts to yell. The blind man looks back and forth trying to see where the noise is coming from. The male knocks the stick out of the mans hand and tears the sign in half. The man clenches his fist and still trying to hear where the direction of the voice was coming from. The blind man swings and misses. Then suddenly Aqurio jumps out of a garbage can and knocks out the screaming male. The males friend confused in what just happened. Aquiro gives the blind man a 20 and walks off.

Another change of location. Its inside of a bar and a large sign is hanging from the wall. It reads 'Say good by to your manhood, Frank.' it appears to be a bachelor party. A large group of men are having a party. They are all dancing and sing out loud almost enough to take over the current playing music. Suddenly they all start singing 'For he is a jolly good fellow' as a insanely large cake is wheeled out. The guys sit him down in front of it in a chair. The guys laugh and 'Frank' is heard screaming "Stripper.". As they all stop singing. The cake erupts and Aquiro lunges forward. He grabs 'Frank' by the collar and gives him to punches. The guys continue to laugh as their friend lays out cold on the floor.

The music fades out as the camera returns to Aquiro and Larell.

Larell: Oh my god and you got away with that?!

Aquiro: Hey they signed the waiver.

Larell: I cant believe that chick got you to do that!

Aquiro: Yeah but the odd thing was though after that she purposed to him.

Larell: So we see who wears the pants there then.

Aquiro: Yeah I was starting to wonder if that was Frank.

Larell: Yeah that was different what gave you the idea to hide in the cake.

Aquiro: The originally were going to go with a stripper and then see this little ad on the SWA website so. We switched out. The stripper was great though.

Larell: Well then Fun was had by all.

Aquiro: Not really. The cake was coconut. I fucking hate coconut.

Larell: Well thank you for you delightful segment.

Aquiro: Fuck you being all humble and shit. Trying to be proper and adult.

Larell: Yes yes and you have a nice day too.

Aquiro flips him off and he leaves. Larell then turns towards the cameras.

Larell: So there we have it folks PUNKZ TV is now on the air. So after this very special edition we are going to be back each and every week to entertain and shock you in new and terrific ways. So in my closing statement. Dirk...Billy... Don't take offence to our little segment. You were a very pivotal part to our show tonight. Come on. Your 80's, I'm 80's. Its okay. We are like brothers from different mothers. Now as for the rest of the roster. Will you receive this kind of attention too? YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU WILL!!!! So tune in next week for some more PUNKZ TV because if you don't we will come to your house and probably beat up your mail box. See ya next week punkz and punkzettes.

--Scene fades out with the PUNKZ TV logo and the explosion rewinds itself to form the Wristlock logo again. As stuff is messed up continues to play.--