Welcome to a super-charged Wednesday Wristlock. Maybe it's packed this week due to a heated Edge card and an oncoming SWA presents Reformation, a pay per view event. Or maybe we're all snowed in and have nothing better to do?
We'll start off this week with an Edge review. Then I'll invite Leech into the studio here, and later on in the show the main event will be a contract signing. Two men will be putting their bodies on the line, in an odd mix of stipulations.
Here's what Bernard has to think about this week's Edge first!
-So the 15th brings us to Wisconsin, a state I absolutely hate, where we'll see Eric Badger taking on Eddie Beckly opening the event. Beckly thus far has called Eric Badger.. An insider term, a term internet marks like to toss around, he called our small furry creature a jobber... Who the hell is Eddie Beckly? Where's his pin fall over Ventor? Or his submission over Atwood? There are none, so don't buy into his use of using big words. I've sized up both men and this will be an even match, but if Eddie keeps up his confidence I think he'll lure himself to a loss.
-Rachel vs. Amethyst has me at a conflict. Rachel would be my usual pick if violence was the only key factor, but Amethyst has proven to me lately that she's a savvy veteran now. I think she'll get a smart win over Rachel, and I hope she uses this momentum to throw herself farther ahead in the rankings.
-Kristan Sailes takes on Sean Atwood, my my.. I'll keep this one short and sweet. Sailes has everything to gain and nothing to lose. I think the idea of a prize for beating Atwood is a dangerous additive tossed into a very combustible mix. I see Sailes actually taking Atwood down this week, due to the fact that he's faced Atwood enough times now to know how to combat him properly. So if he picks up this win, we'll be REFORMING Atwood's spinal column after their hardcore bout at the PPV.
-Kristen Brown vs. Jessie "Snapshot" Wood.. All I have to say is, Snapshot better snap it up. Kristen's the lady with the balls around here and it takes more than I think Wood's has to offer to put up a proper fight against her.
-Dawgg vs Ventor.. Perry and Mark. Well, here's two men who've I known for a long time facing off. But you know what.. I know'em too well. Expect some actions in this that may surprise some, but remember I called it here first.
-Now onto the main event signed by yours truly, well.. Wrongfully at first and it was straightened up by our owner. This will make Kid Kaos' third XTLC appearance. What is a XTLC match? Obviously a no holds barred match that'll feature tables, ladders, and chairs with a lot of extras. Bobcat takes on this bout just days before he faces off against the Brawler at Reformation, and a possible SWA Championship match at the end of the night.. Gutsy move, if not completely stupid. Kid Kaos was driven to the point where he said he'd put up a quarter of a year's salary on the line to face Bobcat in this setting. Bobcat accepted the challenge, and will do so properly later in the show, then the two went on a destructive tirade across the Skyfall complex. Resulting in a damaged locker room and me a busted up SUV. Which added another stipulation to the match, inked out in the contract.. The loser will have to go from this Edge to next dressed as a French Maid, and will be victim to the custodial needs of the entire SWA staff. So if you're in need of a locker being cleaned out, or maybe even a backrub, keep an eye out on this match. The winner of the bout will be the first man able to climb 15 feet into the air and snatch the suitcase that contains said contract from it's bindings. I expect this to be a brutal match, to the point I believe our French Maid will probably be limping, if not executing his services from a wheelchair. I don't really have a favorite going into this match. Bobcat's proven to be tough, and Kid Kaos surviving the previous XTLC matches obviously gives him an edge in experience. We'll just have to check out this super charged main event.
NOW, onto our weekly interview section.
(Bernard moves from his desk to an open area, standing he greets Leech who joins him in the studio. Then they both sit down cutting right to the chase.)
Bernard: This week I'm joined by a long time, associate of mine, if you can say that.. A man I've watched in the business for a quite a while now and whom I believe already made quite an impact here in the SWA by taking out my name-sake protege, The Burn. Welcome Leech. We'll go right into the questioning.. What inspired you to be a professional wrestler?
Leech: Well Bernard, contrary to my first thought on the matter, it doesn't exactly suck too much ass being here. But to answer your question, my hatred of others inspired me to be a wrestler. With me it's not about being the best, but my passion on showing those who think they are the best, that they aren't.
Bernard: Oh geesh, I heard that from Broken ever since '01 back in the IWF days. So how does hating people translate into hammerlocks and headbutts, in your own opinion?
 Leech: Well, it doesn't translate very well... It takes some serious time and pain to get the message across. Watch a match when I'm pissed off and you'll see exactly how it translates. So in essence tune into whatever the next show is I'm on... Which I guess is anywhere from now until my contract expires...
Bernard: Alright, work work. I'm very interested in your anger and your assertion of it as well. So I'll be sure to tune in. Now onto more, probing information.. You've wrestled awhile, and maybe you've paid attention to the fans. Any of them ever sport any memorable signs at the events you can recall? Or yelled out anything you found amusing?
Leech: Well, Bernard, you have to remember. I'm a hardcore wrestler, remembering anything as futile as the fans is difficult after a few chairshots.
Bernard: That I can understand. So how about the wrestlers you've met thus far in the SWA? I usually ask who stinks the most, but who do you think smells the best?
Leech: I do... I smell the best simply because I haven't been wrestling in shitty arenas in front of homeless fans who are only attending the show because they happened to take refuge in the arena the night before quite as long as the rest of the roster. So I smell the best.
Bernard: Well you've seen Sean Atwood in action. Do you think other homeless persons have a great chance at becoming great hardcore champions as well?
Leech: Well it doesn't take a genius to be able to swing a chair... Atwood is a good example of that as well. I guess if one is homeless they would be a little more aggressive. But then again, who really considers Atwood a great champion? Not I.
Bernard: (doesn't get a word in...)
Leech: In fact, if you show me a single SWA "Superstar" other than myself who can be considered great, I'll give you my next paycheck. It's obvious I'm not being booked simply because my matches alone show the rest of the roster how far down on the food chain that they really are.
Bernard: Well I consider myself great, and you took out the primary focus of my consideration of greatness. So I can't argue with that. Well, before we go Leech. I'm afraid to ask, but I will. Where do you see yourself this time next year in the SWA?
Leech: Where do I see myself in a year? I doubt I'll see myself anywhere near an SWA arena, Employee, or so called, Superstar. So to put it Simply, I don't see myself in the SWA in a year... That is simply because in a year the SWA will not even be around. They did a good job pissing off one person they shouldn't have. Don't take my word for it though... Just watch and see.
Bernard: What a tough rhetoric, I'd say best of luck to your future endeavors, but I like my pay check.

--REFORMATION.. BUY IT LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW.. OR ELSE YOUR PENIS WILL FALL OFF!--

Bernard: Greetings ladies and gentlemen, I thank you all for tuning in for this truly historic moment. Now it may not be a peace treaty being signed, or a new bill to end poverty. What we do have is two gentlemen putting their careers on the line in the third ever XTLC match-up. A unique stipulation pioneered by the man on my left here, veteran of the IWF and a SWA superstar Kid Kaos. Who has challenged a man making a big impact in his short time in the sport. A possible World Championship contender at the upcoming Pay Per View event, the SWA hosts Reformation. A contract signing is a classic way to get a deeper perspective inside the mind-set of the two gladiators preparing for their bout in the Coliseum. Kid Kaos, if you would please shine a light on the subject for those fans at home who are asking, WHY!? Why on Earth a XTLC match?
(Kids looks at Bernard after he ask the question then looks at Bobcat and then puts the mic up towards his face)
KK: Why did I chose a XTLC. Why that of all matches? Because its a match that makes names. It's a match that makes loud mouth summa bitches and a match that shuts them up. And! Most importantly it shows how screwed up in the head a person can truly be. A lot of the boys in the back will remember, I sure in hell know Ventor remembers,that a XTLC match is not for the weak of heart. After the first XTLC match that I had I could not walk for a week straight because my body was so beat up that even walking hurt. After the second XTLC match when Ventor threw me off the top of the ladder, and I don't mean the second to last step I mean the last damn step, I got pushed 15 feet into the air all the way down to the ground. And what waited for me at my landing? Glass, wood, and metal tables. Guess what I got for my hard work in that back?
(Kid pulls off his shirt and shows the scars that he got from the glass ripping threw his body)
KK: That is what I got in return, 20 scars. And I pain on giving someone else those scars this time around. That is why I picked this match.
Bernard: I recall those brutal matches. Very vividly.. Now Bobcat, if you'd feel so inclined to share your thoughts?
(The Bobcat smirks at Kaos, then speaks.)
BC: I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but I'm afraid you're going to be getting another 20 scars somewhere. You make it sound like it will be so easy to win. Well you're completely wrong. When everything is said and done, I'm going to win this thing. Isn't that too bad. Another loss on your pathetic little record.
(He chuckles and smiles cruelly.)
Bernard: I can tell, like most of the fans probably can, that this will indeed be a heated match-up. I think it shows how brave you are Bobcat to take on such a brutal bout just days before you vi for the SWA Championship. The challenger shall sign first, here you go Bobcat. If you'd be so kind as to sign your name beside the BC on this line here..
(Bernard offers Bobcat a clipboard and an ink pen, plus a finger pointing where he should sign. Before that can happen, a loud voice interrupts the two men who look around for the source. The camera's turn and walking pass some crew members on the set, Rage appears with microphone in hand.)
Rage: "Stop right there don't sign your lives away just yet. You see Bernard this is the type of stuff that I am talking about. You have two men in Kid Kaos and Bobcat going one on one in a XTLC match. For what purposes is this match a XTLC match? Are they putting an end to a bitter feud, is there a true hateful vengeance on person has against the other? No Bernard, there is not. But you bring these two on your show to sign a contract to promote this violence. You are part of the problem Bernard. You expect us as wrestlers to go out week after week and perform in these barbaric matches like the stairway to hell, hell in a cell, three stages of hell, BS like that, for what the fans. The fans showing up pay us, I understand that, but what you need to understand is the fact that I personally think it is a travesty that a wrestler like Eddie Guerrero dies and we don't learn our lessons. You expect us to go out week after week in these violent matches, do you comprehend how much pain we are in after a normal match, not to mention a match like a XTLC. It is a never ending cycle when you have to take all these pain killers to fall asleep, then you have to take something to wake you up from the night before. What ever happened to the matches like the submission match, the Iron man match or the two out of three falls match, Bernard. I'll tell you what at Reformation I will take on any one in a two out of three falls match to prove to you, Crystal and the entire roster you don't need violent crap to put on a five star match. You sign it Bernard and I will deliver."
(Bobcat focus' back on the matter at hand and signs the clipboard, tossing it back down on the table in front of him. But Bernard seems absolutely obsessed with Rage, who's just standing there.)
Bernard: I expect wrestlers to go out and do exactly what they trained their bodies for. I expect wrestlers to go out there and give each paying customer a glimpse into their hardwork, their athleticism, their craft. Eddie Guerrero's passing wasn't a travesty, the man went out doing what he loved. He wasn't sitting at home drinking himself to death or working some humiliating job at Wal-Mart or Taco Bell. He put his soul and passion before his body, just like every man or woman who takes up this tradition should. Do I know what it's like to have to live on pain killers? I take two Oxicotin a day. Do I know what it's like to feel my face ground up into hamburger on the links of a steel cage? Oh you bet I do.. Do I know what it's like to fight another man for an hour straight.. Do I know what it's like to stare in awe at a man who just would not say he quit into a microphone despite the pain and torture I invented? Do I know what it's like to shut pansies like you up?
(Bernard is now nose to nose, only slightly looking up, to Rage. From behind suddenly Rage is captured and dropped reverse DDT fashion, by Bernard's hired muscle, former IWF star Broken.)
Bernard: You dare interrupt my show and preach your garbage to me Rage? I'm going to accept your challenge. That's right! You and me in a best two out of three falls match at Reformation. Now take him outside and dump him Broken. I have business yet to attend to.
(Bernard straightens up his suit and tie, then takes up the clip board. Checking the signature and then handing the paperwork over to Kid Kaos.)
Bernard: Now if you please sign your name by the KK there Kid. Then it'll all be official.
(Kaos shakes his head then looks dead into Bobcat eyes, he just glances away for a moment to make sure he signs the proper line. Then he speaks into his microphone.)
KK: Really? You think that is really going to happen? Well Bobcat, even if I don't win this match.. I will do one thing before that match is over. And that is give you 20 scars for life. I will make you fight for that win. No matter what, you will have to earn this win.
(The Bobcat smiles cruelly at Kaos once again.)
BC: Earn it? Of course I'll earn it. One way or another, you're going to be the loser of this match. It'll be extremely funny to see you in that maid's uniform.
(He starts laughing.)
BC: Like it or not, this match is now official, and there is no turning back.
(Kid Kaos then moves the table out of the way and approaches Bobcat who also takes a step forward. The two men stand practically nose to nose. Then Bernard steps in.)
Bernard: No violence here guys, or I'll up the ante on this match to a point no one would like to see. I'd have the FCC, Rage, and the entire Republican party in an uproar. There you go folks, it's all official. There's three months pay on the line. The humiliation of having to dress like a maid for the entire locker room, and that's a scary thought, for an entire week. Not to mention life and limb, and a whole lot of pride at stake. There's always a reason for men to do the things they do. In Bobcat's and Kid Kaos' case, I believe it's just because they know they can. Can what? Do whatever they want.

-FIN